Road of Life: Book One: Oh, Baby!
by The Noble French Fry
Summary: Two old girlfriends of Bo and Luke’s show up in Hazzard after eight months’ absence. The Johnson twins have a pair of SERIOUS surprises for the boys... Ones that'll change our Duke boys forever. I won't spoil the secret... You have to read.
1. Sisterly Love

**Title: Oh, Baby!**

**Disclaimer:** K, everybody knows I do not own the Dukes.

**Summary**: Two old girlfriends of Bo and Luke's show up in Hazzard after eight months' absence. The Johnson twins have a pair of _serious _surprises for the boys.

**Genres**: Drama, Romance

**Rating**: T

**Reason**: er..._Suggestive_ content in later chapters

**A/N**: This idea came to me very recently and I have been extremely anxious to write it. It's a fantastic plot, very interesting... Just stick with me, huh? And review. Y'all are gonna love Betty-Lou and Bobbie-Jo, by the way.

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_**Chapter dedication**: To my one and only, irritating, unnerving, retarded but lovable sister._

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**Sisterly Love**

The road into Hazzard County seemed so much longer than it had last time, so much more forbidding. But that was probably just nerves, since from all appearances, things looked great.

Two sisters—twins by the names of Betty-Lou and Bobbie Jo Johnson—were anxiously conversing on their drive into Hazzard.

"I don't want to do this, Jo," Betty-Lou said to her sister, momentarily taking her eyes off of the road ahead.

"I know, Lou," Bobbie Jo replied. "But we have to."

"These guys aren't gonna care."

"They cared once."

When Lou looked, she saw the pained, distant look on her sister's face, even when Jo tried to hide behind her long, dark waves of hair. But Lou knew how Jo felt. This whole deal was an aggravating mess.

She sighed. "It's alright. We'll have to make 'em care."

Jo smiled lightly. "We can't _make_ 'em."

"I'd like to see them try and stop me!" Lou announced.

"They will."

"I know. But they're idiots to try. They'll have to go along with us in the end. It's their duty, and it's right."

"Underneath the hard shell, Bo and Luke do have consciences," Jo agreed.

For a moment, both sisters lapsed into an easy silence.

Leaving Lou alone to her thoughts.

_Lordy, Lordy, I do _not_ want to see Hazzard again_, she thought even as she took the last turn, and down the road the Hazzard County line came into view. _God only knows how much crap I'm gonna have to put up with._

"Hey, can I stop and go back now?" Lou asked playfully. "We don't have to go all the way there. See, we can run off and go find us some better men to take care of us. What'd ya say, Jo?"

"No."

"Aw, pretty please?"

"No."

"We'll never have to tell the Dukes anything!"

"No."

"C'mon, you know it'll be easy."

"_No_."

"See? I can just turn around—"

"Lou."

Lou gave an exasperated sigh as she knew Jo had won—as always. But just the same, she stopped before her car passed over the county line.

Memories flashed past her eyes as she sat there with a big reluctance on her heart that made her want to high-tail it back to her home. So much that she didn't want to see and didn't want to face waited for her over that line, and she could just turn around and run.

_But it wouldn't be right_, her inner voice insisted. _You know it wouldn't be right._

"So," she said aloud, "this is it."

Jo nodded silently, folding her arms and giving an involuntary shiver.

"After this, there's no going back."

"No going back," Jo agreed tightly.

_Go on back!_

_Go on forward!_

The voices in Lou's head kept shouting contradicting orders, but eventually, her sense of honor won, and she pressed the accelerator and let the car creep past the sign. She gathered strength with each inch that the car gained, eventually going up to the speed limit.

"You know I hate you now," Lou said after a moment.

"You do not."

"Ok, so I'm just angry with you."

"Be angry with yourself."

"Oh, I'm already past that."

"So be angry with Bo. It's his fault more than mine."

Lou scowled. "I'm already past that too."

"Well, fine then. Be angry with me."

Glancing over at her quiet sister, Lou smiled. "Oh, alright. I'm not mad at you. I could never be mad at you, Jo."

After a moment, Jo returned the smile. But Jo's smile was always dimmer than Lou's. Never quite as bright and feeling.

"And Jo?" said Lou.

"Yeah?"

"We're going to get through this."

"I know, Lou," Jo said quietly. "We always get through."

Lou sighed again, feeling that she'd probably sighed more in these past three hours on the way to Hazzard than she had in years. "Honey, this time, we might be a little worse for the wear when we get through."

Silently, Jo nodded, once again leaving the sisters into still peace.

And once again, Lou couldn't stop the assault of her thoughts.

This time, she pictured Bo Duke's face.

Strong features, blue smiling eyes, blonde curls and that wild, crazy grin. His mouth saying her name…

"Ugh," she groaned aloud.

"What?" Jo asked with a frown.

"I pictured Bo."

"Oh."

"And he's driving me nuts. And so I'm dreading seeing him for real."

"Luke's driving me crazy too," Jo said. "If that's any help."

"It's not, considering you're crazy anyway," Lou laughed.

Scoffing, Jo tried not to laugh too. "Oh, come on. You've always been the crazy sister, Lou. That's why Bo liked you."

Groaning again, Lou slapped her sister. "_Hello_, I was trying to get my mind off of that idiot! You're _not_ helping!"

"Sorry!"

"Thanks a lot," Lou huffed sarcastically.

"You're welcome a lot."

Lou happily stuck her tongue out at her sister, who then folded her arms and rolled her eyes. "Baby," Jo accused.

"Hey, it's two measly minutes!" Lou protested, echoing the ancient argument of all younger twins: two minutes made no difference.

Jo just smiled again. Smugly, if Lou was to describe it.

_Sisters_, Lou thought with a smile. _Can't live with 'em, can't live without 'em._

----

Before either of the girls wanted it, they were in Hazzard. After a little bit of debating, they finally resolved where they'd find the Duke boys: in their pal Cooter Davenport's garage. It was Saturday morning, after all.

And then, there the twins sat: in front of Cooter's garage, working up the courage to get out and do what they had to do. They could see Luke and Bo working on the General Lee inside, along with ol' greasy Cooter himself.

The sisters exchanged a glance with gray eyes that, as twins, they shared. Lou took strength from her sister's gaze, like silent silver, rarely speaking. And Jo found refuge in Lou's firm stare, like the smoldering ashes of a fire that never truly died.

"You go first, Lou," Jo said quietly, shrinking back against the seat.

Lou smiled again. "Not so mature are we now, Jo?"

"No, still mature. I just don't want to get out there."

Very loudly, Lou groaned at her sister.

"Alright, let's get this over with," she said firmly, opening her door. "I'm not waiting anymore."

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**_TBC_**

**_Expect the next chapter shortly!_**


	2. Surprise, Boys!

**Wow... I wrote this one real quick. K, I need some readers here...**

**Anyway, to anyone that's reading... Sorry this chapter is so short, but Lou and Jo have something to say!

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**Surprise, Boys!**

Thus far, the morning for the Duke boys had been uneventful. It was the average Saturday morning, as they worked on cars in Cooter's garage and ate a breakfast of beer and doughnuts. The only constant sound was the radio in the corner, set on a country station that kept playing all of their favorites.

So the three men went on through the day, lazily working on their big toys and talking about what else but girls.

Until two special visitors showed up at noon.

"See the problem's—" Cooter stopped mid-explanation to glance at the car that had just pulled up in front of his garage.

Luke also turned his gaze from the General Lee's engine out to the simple, old car sitting there. Two familiar women with dark, wavy hair were sitting inside, heatedly conversing—if not arguing.

And the sight of those two already brought a smile to Luke's face.

"My, my," Bo voiced Luke's thoughts, coming from behind the General, wiping his hands. "The Johnson twins. It's been a while since I've seen them."

Now Luke smiled not just at the site of the two, but at memories of them—particularly Bobbie Jo. He'd had a few dates with her, preceded by a little flirting and followed by a night of not-too-innocent fun. After that particularly pleasant night, she'd just disappeared, not to be seen in Hazzard again. Along with her sister Betty-Lou, who had been a big fascination of Bo's at the time.

And frankly, Luke hadn't been too worried about their whereabouts.

"An all too long while," Luke added to Bo's comment. "I wonder if they're back to tell us that our relationships were cut short?" He was only half-joking.

Boldly, Betty-Lou—the fiery, outspoken and passionate of the two—stepped out of the car, slamming the door closed behind her.

"Hello there, Betty-Lou!" Bo called. Luke could practically hear the huge grin in his cousin's voice. "It's been too long—Oh, my."

In mid-sentence, Bo stopped.

Betty-Lou was still the same beauty she'd been, but now her belly was huge: swollen with a pregnancy.

Reflexively, Luke let loose a startled whistle.

"Too long," Bo repeated, trying to bring his eyes from Betty-Lou's stomach as she walked towards him.

"It's been eight months to the day," Lou said tightly. "And I should know."

"Been countin' the days?" Bo asked.

To that, Lou made no reply.

Eager to see what had been going on with the twins other than Lou's pregnancy, Luke moved away from the General too. "So, Betty-Lou," he said, "what brings you back to Hazzard?"

Slyly, Lou smirked. "An introduction." She rested her hands on her belly. "Now, Xavier," she said to her own stomach, "meet Bo Duke." She gestured towards him, then moved her hands back to her stomach, running a finger across its monstrous curve. "And Bo, meet your son."

"My what!" cried Bo with wide-eyes.

"Your son," Betty-Lou repeated.

Bo stood gaping, unable to voice words.

"Well, I'll be darned," Cooter said.

"Oh, my…" Luke started.

"Oh, yes," Betty-Lou continued. "It's your baby nestled in my womb causing me all sorts of fantastic discomfort and hurt. Uh-huh. I'm eight months pregnant with the son of Bo Duke. And, see, that's why I'm here. To set things right."

Bo still couldn't put out any words.

"Ooh," Luke started teasing. "Bo, you're going to be in trouble with Uncle Jesse…" And then, unable to stop it, Luke started snickering at his cousin's predicament.

Bo's carelessness had put him in a _heap_ of trouble…

"Uh-uh, don't you dare start laughin', sugar," Betty-Lou instructed Luke. One of her eyebrows was raised questioningly. "You really have no reason to be. None at all."

"But he's gonna have a son real soon," Luke said. He turned a mock-accusing look at his younger cousin. "Naughty, naughty, Bo!"

He still stood silently gaping as his mouth tried to form words.

After exhaling sharply, Betty-Lou gave a deep, maniacal laugh and jerked a thumb over her shoulder. "So?" she asked Luke. "You've got a daughter on the way!"

Luke felt like his eyes were going to explode. "_What!_"

Still smiling, Betty-Lou answered by stepping aside to show Bobbie-Jo stepping out of the car, almost as big and round as her sister.

Luke felt his jaw drop at the sight…

Jo looked up with a sorrowed look in her eyes and an unspoken apology.

_Oh, my—_

And that's when Luke realized that the twins really were pregnant enough for him and Bo to really be the fathers. Eight months.

"No," he denied. It just couldn't be…

"Yes," Bobbie-Jo confirmed softly. "This…" Her fingers caressed her swollen stomach oh, so gently… "She's your baby, Luke."

That was the last thing Luke remembered before he was overtaken by a complete blackness.

**----**

Indifferently, Betty-Lou watched Luke faint and fall to the floor. After the elder Duke collapsed, he was quickly followed by Bo. The double thud seemed to almost echo in her ears… an event that she wasn't expecting, but was guiltily half-enjoying.

"Idiots," she accused their unconscious selves. "Both of 'em."

"I would've fainted too," Cooter spoke up.

"Well, that just makes you an idiot like them, doesn't it?" Lou huffed at him.

"Hey, don't _nobody_ call me an idiot," Cooter argued angrily.

"Whatcha gonna do?" she growled in reply. "Hit me and make me miscarry the baby?"

Cooter opened his mouth, as did Lou.

"Lou, just _shut-up_," Jo snapped.

Lou scoffed, but did close her mouth as she moved towards the cataleptic father of the infant now nestled in her gut.

_Idiot_, she still silently accused him. _You were supposed to understand, not faint on me like a wimp. Now how do you think that makes you look to your little son here?_

Exasperated, she poked him with the toe of her shoe.

He didn't stir.

She threw a glance over at Luke, who was similarly being prodded by Jo in an attempt to wake him.

"Well," Lou said sarcastically, "I'm glad they took it so _well_."


	3. BettyLou and Bo

**_Thank you, reviewers! And I keep writing these chapters so fast! YAY! This one's a little longer than the last..._**

**_Chapter Rating: T_**

**_Reason: er... some of that suggestive content I talked about. It's nothing awful... just a little hinting about Lou's baby's conception...

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Chapter Dedication: To any of those women who've ever had to do it all on their own. God Bless Ya.

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**Betty-Lou and Bo**

When Bo came to, the beauty that filled his eyes was none other than Betty-Lou Johnson. Oh, how he hated that face right now… But it was so hard to hate that beautiful face, even if she had put Bo in perhaps the biggest disaster of his whole life. This close, he could see how the pregnancy had fattened up her face and the tired bags beneath her eyes…

_She's going through a rough time, too_, he realized.

"Finally, you're up!" Lou grumbled. "Get on up to your feet, you big wimp."

_But it hasn't made her any less blunt_, he added.

"How long was I out?" Bo asked aloud as he stood up.

"Only a couple of minutes," Lou answered. She offered her hand up to Bo from where she'd been sitting on the floor. "Help me up. Your son here is a little bit of an impediment. With him, it's a big struggle for me to get up."

Bo winced at her choice of words, but did help the pregnant woman to her feet.

"Whoo," she blew out her breath, hooking an arm around her stomach. "It's times like these when I feel like a walking house."

At that, Bo had to chuckle in spite of how he felt about this mess.

Now that he was back on his feet, he threw a glance around the garage, looking for Luke to see how the elder cousin was handling his similar mess. With Bobbie-Jo and Cooter sitting by his side, trying to awaken him, Luke was still passed out from shock.

A light hand on his arm took Bo's attention away from Luke.

The hand, of course, belonged to Lou.

"Bo, we need to talk," she said with a seriousness that made him shiver. Her gaze traveled across the garage too, to the group kneeling there. "And I think it'd better be in private." She jerked her head back towards her car, sitting in front of the garage. "C'mon, the car's as good a place as any." Even as she said the words, she was walking briskly out of the garage and towards the car.

"You wouldn't rather just walk around?" Bo asked, trying to keep up with her.

She glanced over at him long enough to arch an eyebrow so he could see. "With these swollen ankles and carrying this load? No thanks, I'd much rather sit down."

"Right." _You idiot, no matter how much you don't want it, she's still pregnant_, he silently berated himself. _You gotta remember that. Stop making a fool of yourself._

Bo reflexively sat in the driver's seat, and Betty-Lou walked around.

"You could've at least opened the door for me, Bo," Lou said after she'd sat down and slammed her door shut.

"Sorry," he apologized shortly.

"It's okay," she replied just as curtly, keeping her eyes away.

"So… How did this happen?" Bo asked.

When Lou raised a brow and began to open her mouth to some very sarcastic comments, he quickly rephrased and explained.

"I mean, didn't you… you know… try and… _prevent_ this?"

Scoffing, Lou turned an incredulous look on him. "No, of course I didn't," she bit sarcastically. "I _wanted_ to get pregnant with _your_ baby at twenty-six and have to wind up in this situation."

"Well then how…?"

"I don't know! Apparently they didn't work for some dadgum reason or another. But you know what? It doesn't really matter because no matter what happened with the prevention, it didn't work and I'm still expecting your baby!"

"Couldn't you… er… get rid of the baby?"

The look on Lou's face easily told Bo that she thought he was crazy. "What, and become a murderer?" she cried. "_I don't_ _think so_! And I'm not so sure you actually want the death of an innocent child on your conscience for the rest of your life either. Do you?"

"No," Bo admitted. "But I don't want this baby."

"Well now, that makes two of us, don't it?"

For a moment, both were quiet as they tried to bring their anger and frustration under control. Eventually, Bo exhaled sharply, and thought about how Luke had found himself in the same predicament.

"What about Bobbie-Jo?"

"_What about_ Jo?" Lou asked. "She's got _Luke's _baby in her womb, in case you missed that."

"But did she have the same problem as you?"

"Meaning…?"

"Problems with prevention… She didn't purposely get pregnant, did she?"

"No, Bo, she didn't. Unless having sex with Luke can be called purposely attempting to get pregnant."

"And she wouldn't get rid of the baby either?"

"No!" Lou exclaimed. "Would you quit suggesting that?"

"It just seems odd coincidence that you two happened to get pregnant with our children at about the same time," Bo observed.

"Well, we had you guys at about the same time."

"It's still… odd how close together your pregnancies are."

"If it's any consolation, I'm about five days ahead of her."

"That doesn't help."

"Well, I think it's kind of a weird twist of fate too, but that still doesn't change the fact that we're both gonna have babies," Lou said with a sigh. "I hope you know this is just as hard on me as it is on you."

"I don't think so."

"_Hello_, _I'm_ the one carrying a little baby boy around in my stomach," Lou burst out. "I'm the one that can't keep down breakfast. I'm the one that has to live with constant nausea. I'm the one with swollen ankles, a stomach as big as Boss Hogg's after Thanksgiving, and a relentlessly aching back. Oh, and on top of all of that, I have excessive mood swings all the time, and never know what the heck I'm feeling! Now unless my eyes are lying, none of that's happened to _you_, now has it?"

"Sorry, Betty-Lou," Bo quickly apologized.

"You're gonna be even sorrier," she said, turning towards him. "I'm going to tell you what I want from you. And even more importantly, I'm gonna tell you what you're going to do for me."

_Yeah, she's definitely the same old Betty-Lou_, Bo thought. _Never beats around the bush. Always tells you flat-out what she's thinking. _It'd been one of the things that had so attracted Bo to her… eight months ago when this disaster wasn't knocking on his door.

"What do I have to give you?" he asked when she paused.

"More than you want to give," Lou replied tautly. "First thing, you and me are gonna get married. It's the only way to raise this child right. As a family."

"_What_!" Bo exclaimed. "No way. There is no way I'm getting married. Especially to you."

"Get used to it, Bo, we're getting married. It's only right."

"No."

"Hey, I didn't say you were gonna like it, but get over it, Tomcat. You're gonna have to settle down with the woman who's currently harboring your son!"

"Move on to the other conditions, because this one isn't gonna happen."

"Oh, the others only build on that," Lou informed him. "The second condition is that you support us. Financially, and if need be emotionally. This son's gonna need a daddy, even if I don't have a husband or a pal to lean on. Third one is that your family accepts me as part of it. See, I don't have much in the way of a family myself now, so I'm not gonna be shunned by yours too. Fourth is that you stop all flirting with other ladies after I become Mrs. Duke. If you violate that, I'm gonna kill you."

"I'll support you, but I'm not marrying you, and I'm not sticking with just you."

"Tough, 'cause you're doing it. Willingly or not."

"No!"

"Wanna hear the last condition?"

"Sure," Bo sighed.

"You have absolutely no say in what this kid's name is," Lou proudly stated. "Even after you wind up marrying me. You have no opinion in the kid's name."

"That's not fair," Bo argued. "He's as much mine as yours."

"No, he's not," Lou snapped. "Since you're not gonna be there for him, I get him _exclusively_. He's mine to name."

"What _are_ you planning on naming him?"

"Is your memory really that short?" she asked. "I told you when I walked in and made introductions that his name was Xavier."

"No way," Bo heatedly argued, punctuating his statement with his hand. "My son will _not_ be named Xavier. What the heck kind of name is that anyway?"

"A fine one! And it's a toss-up between that and Johnny. I'm leaning towards Xavier though."

"_No_," Bo replied again. "Name him Johnny if you want, but I will not be the father of a Xavier."

"_You have no choice_!"

"That's it!" Bo shouted as he angrily flung open the door and hopped out. He slammed it behind him and started stomping off down the street, not caring who saw. "I'm not taking any more of that!"

"Oh, like heck you ain't!" Lou shouted as she too hopped out of the car and angrily followed. "I ain't through with you, Bo Duke so get your butt back here!"

"No!" he protested over his shoulder.

Bound and determined, Lou hustled to catch up. "Oh, come on! That's no way to talk to your wife-to-be!"

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**_Haha... Great couple, huh? The next chapter will be about Luke and Bobbie-Jo._**


	4. BobbieJo and Luke

**Thank you all readers/reviewers!**

**Glad you all enjoyed the Lou/Bo dynamic... Now for a bit of a more gentle relationship...**

**Chapter rating: K**

**Reason: Jo's alot less inclined to blabber about intimates like Lou. ;)

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Chapter dedication: To anyone who's ever had to struggle with themselves about what they wanted to say.

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**Bobbie-Jo and Luke**

Quietly, Bobbie-Jo sat at Luke's side, attempting to rouse him to consciousness. She was gently slapping his face, shaking him… everything short of smelling salts. Silently—for Jo never really spoke to anyone but Lou more than necessary—she was cursing him. It was safe to say she wasn't really thrilled by the way he'd reacted. Not at all.

_Come on, get up, Luke_, she thought at him. _I need to talk to you. Take this and make it all better. Please, just get up._

As if he'd heard her thoughts, Luke stirred.

Feeling a bit of Lou-ness possess her, she reached out and grabbed Luke by the chin, turning his face towards her. "We need to talk," she said shortly.

He nodded.

With a huge surge of effort, Jo rocked herself—huge belly and all—so that her feet were under her, and with that, she struggled with balance and gravity to stand upright. After a moment, she had it, surprised at herself for not waiting around to be helped up.

She'd even seen wildly independent Lou linger for Bo to help her up moments before.

But then again, Lou always got what she wanted, even if it was a small gesture from Bo.

_Keep it up, Jo_, she told herself. _You may be better at the end of this mess yet._

----

"You sure you're alright?" Cooter asked as he helped Luke to his feet.

It took a moment of blinking his eyes and shaking his head, but then Luke was ready to assure Cooter that he was just fine. After that, Luke stole a glance at Jo, who was standing a few feet away almost uneasily.

_Yes_, he told himself. _She really did take you and shake you. She really did get up by herself._

"Well, if you're really alright," Cooter said into his thoughts, "I think you've got a conversation to get on with. Go ahead and sort it out with the mother of your child."

Shut-up, Luke wanted to say.

He was tearing himself up on the inside for Jo's pregnancy, but he wasn't stupid enough to actually tell anyone. Especially Jo. He wasn't dare going to tell her

"So, what did you want to say, Bobbie-Jo?" he asked, walking over to his former… girlfriend?

What exactly was Jo to him?

Was she a one-night stand of sorts gone wrong?

Was she a former girlfriend?

A former date?

A current love interest?

_Not now_, he told himself. Things like that were for sorting out later, when he had time and room to think.

Jo's gaze went past Luke's shoulder to Cooter in an unvoiced request for privacy. Luke threw a glance at the greasy mechanic, and decided that any personal conversations were definitely better if shielded from his ears.

That way it was a lot less likely to spread all across Hazzard.

"Uh, let's take this elsewhere," he said out loud, consciously taking Jo's arm and leading her out of the garage. He was careful to walk slowly towards the bench in the town square, always conscious of the odd way Jo was striding.

He noticed with interest that Bo and Lou were very heatedly conversing inside the twins' car already, and Bo was not happy with Betty-Lou's statements, apparently. Those two always did have fire, Luke remembered.

"What did you want to say?" he repeated as he sat down.

"Several things," Jo said lightly, slowly lowering herself down to the bench too.

When she failed to continue, Luke took it on himself to gently prod her towards words. "What kind of things?"

One of the things about Jo that so frustrated him at times but comforted him at others was her gentleness. She never burst out what she wanted to say like fiery Lou, but held things under consideration. Now though, that stillness was being severely agitating.

It was a while before Jo deemed to answer the question. "How do you feel about the baby, Luke?" she said at length.

The question caught him by surprise with its bluntness, causing him to take a deep breath.

How _did_ he feel about Jo's baby?

"I'm fairly mixed," he said after consideration. "I've always dreamed about a family and all—who hasn't? But timing's everything, and now's not really the time."

Silently, Jo nodded tightly. And that was the only reply she gave.

"So… The baby's a girl?"

Again, Jo just nodded.

"Have you thought about a name?"

"Yeah," she finally replied with words. "I'm going to name her Yvonne Marie."

The name took Luke's breath away. "That was my mother's name," he said quietly.

Jo smiled that small, gentle, timid smile of hers as she said, "I know."

_That's Jo_, he thought. _So considerate and thoughtful in spite of everything._ And Luke knew he had the pleasure of being touched by her selective kindness.

They sat in silence for a moment then, Luke not knowing how to proceed, and Jo either opting not to move ahead, or not yet deciding how to. But the silence wasn't really too strained, considering the situation. Silence with Jo never really was.

"Jo, what do you want from me?" Luke finally exclaimed. "What is it that you want me to do? Do you want me to support the baby? I'll do that. It's my daughter, I have to support her. Do you want me to take the baby? I really think you'd be wrong to leave her, but I'll raise the baby. Or do—" He cut off as suddenly, a thought struck him hard in his heart. "Do you want me to _marry_ you?"

When Jo looked over at him, her lip was quivering with either fear or distress—Luke couldn't tell which. And then slowly, she nodded.

"Oh, jeez." Luke rubbed his face against his palms, finally seeing just how humongous of a life change this could really be—and how far he'd underestimated it.

Married? He couldn't get married yet! He was still in the stage of his life where he didn't even really want a girlfriend for any long stretch. He just wanted to fool around and flirt like crazy.

"I do want you to marry me, Luke," Jo said softly. "We have to raise the baby together."

"Oh, Good Lord!" he cried, standing up quickly.

This was just all too much—

"It's the right thing to do."

The sheer tender truth in Jo's voice stopped Luke then and there.

She was _right_. It was the exact right thing to do, and as a good country boy Luke felt honor bound to fix this the proper way, all neat and tidy. But his tomcatting charm wasn't going to let him go that easy, wasn't going to let him slip into married life just like that. So it turned into a nasty internal argument.

After a moment, he quickly blew out his breath and ran his fingers through his hair. "Alright, Jo, you're right," he admitted, staring into her quiet gray eyes. "It is the right thing to do, but I'm not entirely sure I could do it. See, I—"

Luke was interrupted by a very loud shout from Bo back at Cooter's.

"That's it!" the younger Duke cousin exclaimed at Betty-Lou, stepping out of the car and slamming the door. "I'm not taking any more of that!"

"Like heck you ain't!" Lou shouted just as loudly in return, following out of the car. "I ain't through with you, Bo Duke, so get your butt back here!"

And at that, Luke just had to laugh. "Huh," he said. "Seems like they're solving their problems just fine."

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**TBC soon!**


	5. I'll Tell the World

**Thank you again to everyone who reviewed! And sorry this wasn't up yesterday... Siblings must steal computer at times. (sigh)**

**To anyone thinking like Beth Smith: Don't worry, his sense of honor will come into play later, as well as good ol' Jesse himself!**

**Chapter Dedication: To those who always rebel against being told "shut-up" like me and Lou.

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**I'll Tell the World**

"Well, now you'd better stop that running before I'm forced to make you!" Lou shouted at Bo's back, trying desperately to keep up with him, but having difficulty. "I'll use Xavier here to help me too! Don't think I won't!"

"You are_ not_ naming that baby Xavier!" Bo retorted, still all but running away from the pesky woman. "No way on earth!"

"I'll do _whatever_ I please, thank you very much!"

"You are _annoying_, you know that?" he snapped at her, momentarily glancing over his shoulder.

_My God, if only he could look in a mirror!_ Lou thought, angrily gritting her teeth. "And you're forcing me to be annoying, you know _that_? Besides, I don't seem to recall any reluctance on your part to be with me eight months ago!"

"I didn't think a baby was going to come of it!"

Lou stopped and put her hands on her widened hips. "Oh, so now you're only sorry because there are consequences? You really are that low!"

"Hey, don't you dare go there!" Bo stopped and spun on his heel to face her. He angrily shook his finger in her face. "Don't you dare go calling _me_ low. You're the pregnant one."

Scoffing angrily, Lou couldn't believe what she was hearing. "Well, it's only because of you that I am!"

"So you're going to annoy me to death because I made that mistake?"

"Darn straight," Lou growled. "I'm gonna bug the crap outta you until you give me what I want. You're marrying me whether you like it or not, Bo Duke. This is your baby, and you are gonna help take care of him right beside me."

"Are you so sure the baby's mine?"

Lou's jaw fell and looked like it would just detach from her whole face. Then when she recovered, she firmly planted her fists on her hips and bit out sarcasm. "Oh, no, I'm not really sure… You know I'm a slut and there's only about a one in ten chance the baby's yours." She scoffed angrily and looked like a volcano just waiting to erupt. "Yes, I am one hundred percent sure he's yours! And I have been!"

"Well if you're so sure, why'd you wait eight months to come and tell me?" Bo insisted.

"Honestly?"

"Honestly!"

Eyes narrowed, Lou now looked like an assassin and her voice went cold. "It took Jo that long to convince me you and your cousin were worth it. I wanted to go off and do it all alone, but she finally got through to me."

That struck poor Bo in the heart. "Is your opinion of me really that low?" he whispered.

"No," Lou replied truthfully. "I wanted to do it alone to save us all a heap of crap. But just so you know, every time you tell me I won't name my baby Xavier, and every time you insist you won't marry me, it does sink lower. So if you want a decent chance in my mind, stop saying I ain't naming our son Xavier, and stop saying you won't marry me, because you know you will."

"You ain't and I won't!" Bo growled, brushing past her and hurrying back towards Cooter's garage.

Lou just hurried along behind again, knowing full well how much she was getting under Bo's skin. That was part of her plan to persuade him over to her side, after all.

"See?" she said. "You just sunk about four points on the scale."

"Just do me a big favor and shut-up, will you?"

"Um, sorry, _no._"

That comment made Bo groan loudly and toss his hands up towards the sky.

"Hey, who are you gonna tell about Xavier first?" Lou asked. "Your Uncle Jesse—ooh, he's gonna be _very mad_. Your cousin Daisy—she's gonna be shocked and hurt that her great cousin fell so hard. Or are you just gonna let Cooter tell someone and let the word spread naturally?"

Bo's hands quickly came back down as he tugged on his own blonde curls. "I ain't gonna tell no one," he bit out.

"Oh, yes you are."

"No, I ain't."

Quickly stepping in front of Bo and stopping him with a hand to his chest, Lou gave him a very serious look. "Hey, if you don't tell nobody, then you leave it all up to me, and I definitely will."

"You're not going to tell anyone either," Bo said, grabbing her shoulders. "You hear me? _You are not telling anyone_!"

"Yes I am!" she definitely pronounced, wrenching out from under his grasp. "I _will_ tell the world that I'm carrying Bo Duke's baby!" Quickly, she spotted a simple passerby who she didn't recognize at all and practically ran towards him. "Hey, _you_!"

The elderly man innocently turned around. "Yes, ma'am?" he said courteously, smiling politely.

Brightly, Lou started to spill the news. "Yeah, you see my baby? The daddy's—" Before she could announce her secret, Bo clamped a hand tightly over her mouth.

Spitefully, she bit his hand and made him yelped as he let go.

"See, he doesn't want nobody to know…" she started again before Bo pressed his hand across her mouth a second time.

No matter how much she bit and licked, he didn't let go this time. After a moment, he tightly wrapped his other arm around her below Xavier and lifted her into the air. Knowing that struggling might result in pain or Bo unintentionally harming her, Lou didn't attempt to wriggle or kick, no matter how much she wanted to. She barely moved as he carried her a few feet away, then set her gently back down, shielded her from the old man and took his hand from her mouth.

Immediately, she looked back at the passerby and started to open her mouth. She didn't really intend to say anything, but Bo didn't know that and quickly grabbed her face, turning it back towards his. "Don't say _anything_," he bit out strictly.

After rolling her eyes at Bo, Lou threw a glance at the old man, who was still standing there, waiting for some sort of explanation. She simply shrugged.

And the man walked on, muttering to himself about how odd young people were these days, and how he didn't ever understand them.

-+--+-

"What're we gonna tell people?" Luke asked Jo after he'd gotten his outrage under control. Nervously, he was running his hands through his hair and occasionally squeezing his head.

"I don't know," she quietly replied.

"_Who_ do we tell?"

"I don't know," she repeated.

"Do we even tell anyone?" There seemed to be no end to these questions.

_How many times do I have to say it?_ Jo thought. "I don't know."

"Dangit!" cried Luke, angrily whirling towards her. "For once can't you just have something to say, Jo? Can't you just once not tell me that you don't know? Just now, can't you actually have something to say that'll help? Just this once, can't you have an opinion!"

Now, as quiet as she was, Bobbie-Jo Johnson was a proud woman. Though her dignity was silent, it was still wounded by Luke's outburst.

For a moment, she quietly reflected on her thoughts and stared at Luke's angry face, ever so slowly diminishing its ire.

"I say tell the world," she finally said. "Tell everyone in Hazzard and beyond that Bobbie-Jo Johnson is gonna have Luke Duke's baby. I honestly don't see where keeping it quiet's gonna help anybody at all."

"Thank you!" Luke exclaimed.

Jo stood with a steady stare fixed on his face, never wavering. "And I'm glad you think I have no opinion." With that, she brushed past Luke and stalked back towards Cooter's and the car.

"Oh, no I didn't mean it like that," he quickly said, all anger fading as he followed after Jo. He put a hand on her arm and stopped her. "I didn't mean it at all."

She turned a stone cold stare at him, letting the tears remain internal. "Never say what you don't mean, Luke Duke. Life's too short to be ruined by false statements."

Jo left Luke to think over her words as she continued onwards.

_See, Jo? _she thought_. He's like everybody else: he doesn't understand you. No one but Lou really does. You were a fool to ever think different. _And despite her efforts, a single tear rolled down her cheek and dropped from her face, silently landing on her stomach. At the moment, she felt like the tear: all but disappearing.

----

"Just don't tell anyone, please," Bo insisted to Betty-Lou. "Especially not Uncle Jesse or Daisy. Promise me you won't."

Lou arched an eyebrow at the request as she slid into the driver's seat of her car, with Jo already in the passenger's seat. "You know I won't promise that."

Quickly, he grabbed a hold of Lou's upper arm. "Betty-Lou, please, _please_ promise me. I'm begging you."

Lou took a deep breath, and looked Bo straight in the eye. "I will promise you that I'll give you time to tell them by yourself. They won't hear it from me unless _you_ fail to tell them." She closed the car door, but rolled down the window to pop one last comment at him. "And we'll be staying at the Hazzard Hotel if you need us."

With that, she drove off directly towards the hotel.

Mentally, Bo cursed her and bit out several inappropriate things for the mess she'd caused. When he turned around, Cooter and Luke were both standing at the edge of the garage, looking at him.

"Hey," he told them, "don't neither one of you say anything either. I'd rather not have Uncle Jesse wring the life outta me or you,Luke."


	6. Bring in the Troops

**Thanks again to all reviewers! This chapter was written all today, in probably an hour and a half's time! Wow, that's fast!**

**So to anyone who was wondering about Uncle Jesse's reaction, here you go, nice and hot. :D

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**Bring in the Troops**

Nervous and bored fingers tapped out a constant, steady rhythm on the tabletop, never daring to move faster nor slower. Tap, tap, tap. Click, click, click. On, on, on.

"Stop it!" Jo finally demanded of her sister.

Lou's fingers curled back until her fingernails bit into her palm. She kept timely stabbing her fingers into her palm until she couldn't stand it anymore and bounced to her feet. "Jo, I'm not sitting anymore. This is torture."

Across their small, bland hotel room, Jo sat on one of the two beds lazily reading a magazine, with a brow now raised questioningly at Lou. "Really?"

"Yes, really!" Lou insisted, already stalking towards the door. "We've been sitting here, doing nothing for two days because if we're out and about in Hazzard, someone's bound to put two and two together and then Bo and Luke would be furious. But you know what, I'm not sitting around anymore, Jo. I'm going to do something about this mess."

"What?"

That question stopped Lou in her tracks, halfway through opening the door.

Just what _was_ she going to do about this?

_Go stand in the street and shout for all the world to hear_, Lou thought spitefully. _Who cares just as long as word gets out! But where would that get you, Lou? No where fast, I think. So hit where it hurts, and we'll be in business._ And that's when she smiled.

"You know, I promised Bo that I wouldn't tell anyone unless he failed to do so," she said. "It's been two days, and we haven't heard from either one of the 'fathers' here, despite the fact they know full-well where we are. So, I gave them time, and it's now up." She gestured widely and her grin widened. "Jo, it's time to bring in the troops!"

-+-+-+

For the longest time, Luke and Bo had been completely silent when alone, each one reflecting on their current predicaments. And neither had spoken a word to anyone—even each other—about Betty-Lou and Bobbie-Jo. In fact, their unusual silence had been noticed by Uncle Jesse and Daisy that first night at dinner, and had inspired inquiries. To those questions, Bo and Luke were both very quick to dismiss it as nothing.

Neither realized that their family wasn't going to believe that at all.

And now in the General, heading towards Hazzard for no real reason in particular, Luke felt oddly inclined to break the silence concerning the twins.

"How do you feel about Lou, Bo?" he asked.

Bo started answering the question by a long sigh. "She's… annoying. So very, very _irritating_. I wouldn't say I hate her, but I do severely dislike her."

"Really? Is she that bad?"

"She gets under my skin in a way no one else can," Bo replied.

"You sure that's not just her way of showing she likes you?"

Bo's mind flitted back to previous comments made by Lou. "Oh no," he answered certainly. "She made it all too clear what her opinion of me is. She told me flat out that she has a very low opinion when it comes to me."

Luke took that all in with a nod. "She could just be in denial."

"Would you leave that alone?" Bo growled. "I don't like Lou, Lou doesn't like me, we're just forced into a relationship that makes us both chafe each other's nerves constantly. Case closed, end of story."

"Whatever you say, Bo."

That got under Bo's skin. "Well what about Jo?" he shot back in retaliation. "How do _you_ feel about _her_?"

Luke kept in thoughtful silence for a moment before answering. "I don't know."

"What do you mean you don't know? It was a simple question."

With a stare that looked like it could melt right through Bo at the moment, Luke fixed his eyes on his cousin. "It was a simple answer," he retorted tightly. "I'm not sure. I mean, I like Jo's company, but her silence is frustrating. I felt bad when I hurt her feelings, but I'm not sure if that means anything. I haven't quite sorted out how I feel."

The answer immediately cooled Bo's anger at Luke for stirring up the Lou issue. He really was beating himself up for Jo's problem, and on top of that he was struggling to figure out how he felt about the woman. And so Bo let the subject drop for Luke's sake, and let silence ring out.

But after a while, Luke was again the one to break it. "What are we going to _do_?"

Bo sighed, as his cousin again brought forth one of the questions he'd been so avidly arguing about inside himself. "I don't know," he replied. "I reckon the right thing to do would be to marry them like they want. But I don't really want that."

"Me neither," Luke agreed. "But since when is life about what we really want?"

"Never," Bo admitted.

"So really, we'll probably wind up as married men soon."

"Probably," Bo agreed with a sigh. Another silence hung between them, but this one much shorter than before. "I guess we probably need to tell Uncle Jesse soon too."

"He's gonna kill us," Luke said, leaning back in the passenger's seat.

"I think Lou's gonna kill us if we don't tell him," Bo reflected.

"And we probably ought to go see them too," Luke said. "It _has_ been two days."

Bo nodded as he turned the General towards the small Hazzard Hotel.

"I guess we could take them when we tell Uncle Jesse too," Luke muttered. "Sort of an insurance-type precaution."

Already parking their orange Charger at the hotel, Bo groaned at the thought. "Lou's gonna babble on and on relentlessly. I think she's gonna be more of a hindrance than an assurance."

"We'll take her anyway."

The silence between the Duke boys was sort of strained with anxiety as they got out of the General and made their way to the reception desk. After questioning the receptionist and averting to the real cause of their visit for safety, Bo and Luke had the Johnson twins' room number.

But when they knocked and called at the door, there was no answer.

Five whole minutes they stood and knocked, but the entire time, there was no answer. And then finally, it dawned on them.

"No!" they both shouted in denial as awful realization struck. They were both back running towards the General and were there and inside in probable record time.

-+-+-+-

The Duke farm was a place Lou had only seen a few times during her little "affair" with Bo eight months previous, and Jo had only been there once. Still, they easily located the place.

Lou felt flat-out jittery standing at the door, arm raised to knock. This step she was about to take would be completely irreparable and she knew it'd make Bo very angry with her. She was treading on territory that he'd openly expressed that he didn't want her near.

She threw a glance over her shoulder at Jo, who nodded.

Thus, with courage summoned, Lou reached out and knocked on the door.

The answer was prompt, and Daisy Duke herself was at the door in no time. It took her a brief moment, but she recognized the two. "Oh, Betty-Lou! Bobbie-Jo! What brings you two to the Duke doorstep?" Her face suddenly registered an idea about why the two were there. "Oh, Bo and Luke aren't here…"

"We're not here for them," Lou quickly said. "We're here to see you and your Uncle Jesse. If you'll let us inside, we have some news for you."

-+-+-+-

The General was home in no time flat, hurrying along the back roads at full speed. And amazingly, no Rosco showed up to stop them along the way.

As soon as the General Lee skidded to a stop both Duke cousins sprung out like lightning and dashed inside. Both were out of breath when they blundered into the kitchen—

But they were both too late. There sat Jo and Lou with Uncle Jesse and Daisy around the small kitchen table, Lou spilling the news to the wide-eyed Dukes.

"And I told them to tell you—" she was saying before the boys' entrance cut her off.

When she saw them standing there, she stopped mid-sentence and shrunk back almost fearfully. Jo was her normal, reserved and silent self, made all the more discreet now.

"Lou!" Bo exclaimed at her. "How could you!"

"You left me no choice," she retorted.

But by now, the shocked Jesse was rising from his seat, turning to his nephews. "You two better get out of here!" he shouted angrily. "Before I kill you!"

And both boys were back out the door just as quickly as they'd entered.

* * *

**Bit of a cliffie, but the net part should be up soon!**


	7. Invasion

**See, I told you I'd update quickly! Less than 24 hours:)**

**Thanks to reviewers yet again!

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**Invasion**

Lou watched Bo and Luke run for "their lives" back out the front door and Uncle Jesse stand, steaming with ire as he watched his nephews.

"Now, Mr. Duke," Lou said to him, rising, "if you kill them, you have to kill me and Jo too. It's as much our fault as it is theirs."

All fire faded from Jesse Duke's face as he calmed down and sat again. "But you're not the ones I raised, Betty-Lou. I have no say in what you do." He gestured. "Please, sit back down."

Gently, Lou complied. _So you're gonna hurt your nephews for what they've done, but tell us you don't care what we did?_ Lou thought at him. _Hypocrite._

"Now, Mr. Duke," she said aloud, "I know that I've put a lot on your plate now, but I do have a favor to ask of you. Well, besides the whole getting your nephews to marry up with us thing." She paused and took a deep breath. "We'd like to stay here."

Jesse frowned slightly, silently asking for clarification.

Lou wasn't going to give him the full story—that was for her and Jo to know, and nobody in Hazzard to ever find out—but she would give him the current conditions. "Well, you see, Mr. Duke, we're currently staying at the Hazzard Hotel, and it's not terribly comfortable. Frankly, Jo and I have to pay more than we'd like for daily accommodations there, and we'd like to fix things by staying elsewhere." She shrugged. "Our soon-to-be-in-laws' house seems as good a place as any."

"Sure, you can stay here," he said with a smile. "We wouldn't dare turn you down. And please, call me Uncle Jesse."

Lou returned the smile. "Well, thank you, Uncle Jesse. We're much obliged."

**-+-+-+-**

It was early morning, with the sun dawning over Georgia when the Duke boys returned home. They'd been too scared of Uncle Jesse's wrath to return during the night, and had instead spent the night tossing and turning in the General—parked out near Hazzard Pond—in attempts to sleep.

Now they were irritable as they snuck back in the door, very foolishly on their parts.

Bo was first through the door to their room, groggily pulling his shirt off and fully intending to collapse on his bed in just a few moments.

"Well, sugar, as much I appreciate the show, please do me a favor and put your shirt back on," a voice said from behind him.

Startled, Bo jumped and quickly turned around.

Lying there, in his bed, swathed in his blankets and sheets, was none other than Lou, sleepily staring at him. She looked so comfortable and at place, curled on her side with an arm hooked around the pillow on which she rested her head.

A quick glance confirmed that Jo was asleep in the other bed—Luke's.

A scowl leapt to his face. "What are _you_ doing here?" he growled.

"What's it look like?" she snapped in return. "I was trying to sleep before you monkeys interrupted. Jo and me are staying here too. By the way, Bo, you need to clean some stuff out of your drawers. There's no room for my stuff."

That's when Luke came in the door, and equally scowled at the sight of an intruder in his bed. "What're they doing here?" he grumbled.

"It seems they've moved in now," Bo retorted angrily, hurriedly jerking his shirt back on.

Lou rolled her eyes. "Could you guys get out of my room now? I'm trying to sleep."

"_Your _room!" exclaimed Bo. "Well, I—"

"Bo, Luke!" a familiar voice said from the doorway. Both boys turned to see their Uncle Jesse standing there. "You boys get on out of here and let the woman sleep."

Grumbling, they obeyed.

Once they were outside and the door to their room shut, Bo was the first to voice grievances.

"Uncle Jesse, why are _those_ two in _our_ room?" he asked angrily. "Lou said they're _staying_ here. Is that true?"

"Yes, it is," Jesse confirmed. "They're gonna be here for a while."

"How long is 'a while'?" Luke asked.

"Until after the wedding and you get your own houses."

"After the wedding?" Bo asked as fear of what he was about to hear gripped him.

"Yes," Uncle Jesse confirmed again. "You two are gonna marry them, and take care of your wives and children like model men. I'm not gonna letcha get away with leaving them behind. This is the _right_ thing to do, and you're both gonna do it."

"Uncle Jesse—" both boys started to protest.

"I don't want to hear it!" he cut them off. "I know you two don't want to, but you're gonna. We'll start planning the wedding as soon as possible, and hopefully we get to it before the girls have their babies."

Neither Bo nor Luke could believe what they were hearing. They'd at least expected Uncle Jesse to feel partially for their predicament. But apparently, that wasn't the case.

Daisy was coming out of her room now to see what the commotion was about, and the boys quickly tried to get her on their side.

"Daisy, do you think we should be forced into marriages we don't want?" Luke smoothly asked.

"Uh-uh, don't you try that mess on me," Daisy was quick to retort. "I think you fellas have to marry them, even if you don't want to."

"What!" they both cried.

_Zero for two_, Bo thought irately.

"How could both of you do this to us?" Luke shouted.

"You did it to yourselves," Uncle Jesse returned. "It was you two that went spreading yourselves about, and you two that got these girls pregnant. Now you have to face the consequences, even if you don't want to. It's part of being responsible."

Both boys groaned quietly. "Luke, I think we've lost this battle to the Generals Johnson," Bo told his cousin. "Great tacticians, those two, going in for our home turf."

Luke nodded. "Very persuasive ladies… and we lost the first battle to them and their brilliant plot."

"No," Uncle Jesse said, "you two didn't lose the battle, you lost the war."

-+-+-+-

Lying still awake on Bo's bed, Lou heard the whole conversation, and somewhere halfway through, Jo awoke and began listening too. For a moment after the Duke family shouting match ended, both sisters sat in silence.

"So, you hear that?" Lou asked after a moment. "It seems we're great tacticians now and very persuasive ladies with a brilliant plot."

Jo nodded quietly. "They think we planned to do this to them."

"Didn't we sorta, though?" Lou replied. "We knew when we came to Uncle Jesse and Daisy that we'd have some allies. Very powerful ones. And so we've now decided that soon, you and me are both gonna become a Mrs. Duke."

* * *

**TBC shortly!**

**No one expect a wedding chapter for a while... They master tacticians and thereluctant playboyshave a lot more arguments and such to go through before then. :)**


	8. Back Off, Darlin'

**I completely tried to have this up earlier, but brothers... ech.**

**Alasse and anyone thinking along the same lines (that I might twist it so that Jo and Lou's babies aren't Bo and Luke's): Nope. The children really are the Duke boys'. No shuckin' and jivin' from the twins! I'm afraid if they tried that, ol' chatty Lou wouldn't be able to keep her big mouth shut. :D**

**EVERBODY: I have about 8 more chapters planned, but if anyone's got any bright ideas, PLEASE voice them!**

**Now, time for the boys to get in just a little more hot water with the girls...**

**And time for a nice, long chapter for once...

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**Back Off, Darlin'**

"Go ahead and just pick one, Lou," Bo grumbled, tiredly running a hand through his hair. "Jo was outta here an hour ago."

Lou turned her gaze from the assortment of silver and gold engagement rings to Bo with a quirked eyebrow. "Jo's tastes are too simple for her own good," she replied.

"And yours are too intricate."

Lou rolled her eyes. "I'm trying to find one that's not too simple, but not too expensive for you to pay for either."

"Just pick one and I'll find a way to pay for it." His voice dropped to a quiet grumble. "You're already making me pay in sweat as well as cash."

This was the second stop of the day, the first being the courthouse to purchase a marriage license, the future third being a visit to the hospital for a checkup on Lou's baby. Luke and Jo had accompanied them, but as Bo had already said, Jo was quicker to select her ring and get out, putting that couple at the hospital already.

Not quite gently, Lou slapped Bo's arm. "Contrary to your belief, I _am_ trying to help you out here."

"Uh-huh," Bo mumbled sarcastically.

Finally deciding to put the argument to an end, Lou pointed out a simple, fairly cheap—as far as engagement rings in Boss Hogg's jewelry store went—ring to the assistant behind the counter. After the associate put in a small box and Bo paid, the two walked side-by-side out of the store.

"Aren't you gonna put my new ring on my finger?" Lou insisted.

"Will your torture of me never end?" Bo whined, already opening the small jewelry box and retrieving the ring. Reluctantly, he slid it on Lou's extended finger.

"Probably not," she said, examining it on her finger. "I plan on tormenting you all during the engagement, and then most of the marriage… I don't know, maybe I'll let you slide on past after a few years…"

Loudly, Bo groaned at that.

And that only inspired a smile in Lou. She took private joy from Bo's irritated state, and quite frankly loved tormenting him.

As she walked back towards the General Lee, she noticed people across the town square pointing and talking. She sighed heavily. "Small town charm comes back to bite me."

"What?" Bo asked.

Gesturing, Lou explained. "All we do is tell a couple of people and go to buy a marriage license… Then the whole town's already talking."

Bo's gaze followed along Lou's finger to the group of people across the square. Groaning, he slapped his hands over his face. "That's just great," he muttered.

"Isn't it though?" Lou chuckled. Turning her gaze away from the spectators, she spied a poster on the wall of the building she was passing. "Whoa, hold up."

She stopped, and at her exclamation, so did Bo.

"Hazzard County Fair," she read from the advertisement's gaudy announcement. "This weekend…" She turned a smile to Bo. "I'm guessing the Fair's still a pretty big deal out here?"

He nodded.

"Well then, are you planning on going?"

"I'll probably go," he admitted.

Lou proudly held her head high. "Fine, then I'll go too. Where my fiancée goes, there I go… Most of the time."

-+-+-+-

Friday night, and Lou and Jo had nothing to do. They were just sitting around the Duke house with a silent Uncle Jesse as their only companion, seeing as Daisy had to work and the boys had run off to only God knew where an hour or so previous.

Finally, Lou, who was impatiently attempting to keep her attention on a book, slammed it down. "Why the heck do I feel like this has happened before!" she growled. "Jo, why on God's earth are we just sitting around like old maids while the boys are out probably playing around? I am not spending the rest of my life like this, and I ain't spending tonight like this either. Let's get out and go somewhere!"

One of Jo's brows raised questioningly. "Where is this somewhere?"

Lou was already out of her chair and attempting to pull Jo to her feet. "Doesn't matter!" she exclaimed. "We'll find somewhere to go!"

Somewhat reluctantly, Jo went along.

"Uncle Jesse, we're going out!" Lou yelled, already halfway to the car. Already much happier, she slid into the driver's seat.

-+-+-+-

After a bit of deliberation and searching, the Johnson twins' car pulled up in front of a building with a sign that read "The Boar's Nest." _Interesting name_, Lou thought, pocketing the keys.

"A bar?" asked Jo. "Um, 'case you don't remember, Lou, we ain't supposed to have alcohol till the babies are born. Doc said it could cause complications."

Smiling at her sister's constant noble attitude, Lou climbed out of the car. "Aw, Jo, just 'cause we're going into a bar doesn't mean we gotta drink. This is the only place in Hazzard with any action tonight. I'm willing to bet the boys are here, too."

As Jo followed Lou towards the Boar's Nest, she said, "Is it just me, or do you _always_ have to be around them?"

"Nooo," Lou drawled. "They just happen to be everywhere I want to go. But it _is _fun to pick at them. And they _are_ the reason we're in Hazzard again."

"No, we're here because of Yvonne and Xavier."

"And _they're_ here because of the Duke boys." Lou's eyes traveled around the crowded bar until they rested on a familiar face. "Speaking of which…" Slowly, she began to make her way in Bo's direction.

But then she caught sight of his companion: a flirty, skinny, pretty little blonde. And angrily, her pace quickened.

"Sure, I'd love to go to the fair with you—" the blonde was saying as fuming Lou barged into the conversation.

"Well now, hello there," she bit out. "Who the heck are you!"

Annoyed by the flamboyant, non-explanatory pregnant woman who'd just interrupted her work, the blonde raised an eyebrow. "Janie Adams," she said. "What's it to ya?"

"Everything," Lou returned, placing her fists on her hips. "Do you know who I am?" Lou could see Bo squirm and try to slide away, but she kept an eye on him and he stayed put.

"Should I?" the blonde asked nonchalantly.

"Oh, yeah," Lou answered. "Well, right now my name's Betty-Lou Johnson, but mighty soon it's gonna be Betty-Lou Duke. This guy here's mine." Taking Bo by the arm none to gently, Lou let it be obvious that she wasn't happy.

"What gives you the idea he's yours?" The blonde chick just as harshly grabbed Bo's other arm, fire in her eyes.

"Oh, honey, I've got _rights_."

"Uh-huh, and what gives you these 'rights'?"

Lou brought her hand to the woman's face, wriggling the finger on which her new engagement ring sat. "This here ring on my finger," she laid the same hand over her swollen belly, "and this here baby curled up in my gut. Both are compliments of him." Anger escalating, she tipped her head towards Bo, who was now looking extremely frightened. "So you'd best just back off, darlin'."

Now the blonde quickly turned on Bo. "Why didn't you tell me you were engaged?" she thundered. "Perverted moron!" And she laid a slap right across Bo's face.

"Hey, don't you lay a finger on my fiancée!" Lou shouted right back at her. And before she realized it, her fist snapped out and hit the woman in the face.

Before she did it a second time, Bo quickly grabbed her and held her back. "Whoa, just calm down, Lou!" he whispered in her ear.

She did, and her anger simmered down.

The woman held a hand over her face as she scowled at Lou and Bo. "Neither of you are worth the effort." With that, she turned on her heel and left.

As Bo let go of her, Lou realized that half the people in the bar were staring. "What are _y'all_ lookin' at?" she grated. Quickly, they all resumed their previous business.

Bo exhaled sharply as Lou faced him, relief evident on his face. "Well, thanks for sticking up for me, Lou, but—"

And then she slapped him, throwing about as much power as she could behind it. Much more than the blonde woman had been able to muster.

"_Ow_!" he exclaimed, holding a hand over the already reddening splotch on his face. "What was _tha_t for?" he growled.

Lou had to grit her teeth against a million nasty things that wanted to leap from her mouth at him and explain. "I told you before I wasn't gonna tolerate any foolin' on your part," she bit out. "And now you know I mean business. I ever catch you doing that again—flirting with another woman—and I'm gonna literally_ kill_ you."

"No, you said after you became Mrs. Duke," Bo corrected. "You ain't Mrs. Duke yet."

"I'm as good as there!" she retorted. "We're engaged so I _will _be Mrs. Duke!"

-+-+-+-

Jo sat and watched her sister explode at Bo's little flirt, and at Bo himself. At that, she shook her head. _Little Lou never could quite control her temper_, she thought.

And as her eyes took in the bar's crowd as they quickly averted their stares from the couple, she spotted Luke… and, as she was half expecting after Bo, his little flirt. Her cool gray eyes took in the woman's appearance with hurt twisting in her gut. The woman was small, dark-haired, shapely and dressed to kill in a fairly revealing outfit.

_So he leaves me behind like _that_ for a woman who hasn't lost her figure to pregnancy_, Jo thought, taking a deep breath and sitting down at the nearest empty table, nestled away in a corner. _And here I was thinking him honorable. He doesn't care about you, Jo. Stop fantasizing. No love, no special care. You're just a fly in his butter, stuck in his way._

Her quiet face never let anything show about her thoughts, but inside she was crumbling. When a waitress—luckily not Daisy Duke—came by, Jo insisted she just wanted water, and she sat back to watch people much happier than she.

She wasn't looking up when Luke spotted her in the corner, but she did look up just as he was bidding the little lady goodbye. And then, making her heart flutter in spite of herself, he walked over her way. The smile on his face was tight and hid guilt behind it—guilt at being caught in the act of… cheating. Because when you looked at it, really looked, that's what it was.

"Hey, Jo," he said easily, taking the table's other seat. "Why are you here?"

"Lou dragged me along," she replied.

"Oh." His gaze traveled over to Lou herself, still arguing with Bo. "Did she purposely come to blow up at Bo like that?"

"Not that I know of."

Luke let the conversation drop away, and Jo didn't pursue.

No, she silently debated with herself whether or not to mention Luke's little companion she'd spied a few minutes ago. Eventually, she decided affirmative. "Who was that lady with you a minute ago?"

"You saw?"

She nodded.

"An old friend of mine," Luke hastily lied. "Trisha Barnes. I've known her forever. Just a friend. Nothing special."

"I'm not stupid, Luke."

"Right," he said, staring at the table. "So I guess you… guessed?"

"Yes. Thanks for trying to spare me." Fully intending to run right at the door before she found herself in tears, Jo started to rise.

Luke grabbed her arm and stopped her. "Jo, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have."

"Doesn't change the fact you did."

"I know," Luke replied. "But I'm never going to do it again. You're it for me. You're my fiancée now and you're going to be my wife pretty soon. You'll be the only woman in my life, Jo. I'll make sure of it."

Those kind words just made little Jo smile.

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**Aw... You just gotta love poor Jo, huh:) Update's coming soon! AND THANKS FOR THE REVIEWS!**


	9. All's Fair for the Fair

**Whoo-hoo! Another rapid update!**

**Wait a minute, do my eyes decieve me, or was there really just ONE review on the last chapter? **

**faints from lack of reviews**

**Thank you to the one reviewer... KatieMalfoy19. Nobody worry... Bo and Lou have to work things out, no matter how stubborn they are... just give 'em time. :)**

**Oh, just a little note... I'm thinking of changing my penname, so noone be shocked if suddenly "Oh, Baby!" isn't by Nerca Beyul anymore. :D**

**I talk to much huh:)

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Chapter dedication: to all you good "hicktown" folks out there like me.

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**All's Fair for the Fair**

"Jo," Lou said to her sister's sleeping face. "Oh, come on, lazy-pants, get up!" She started shaking gently and kept it up until Jo groaned. "There you go! Now get up, up, up!"

"Lou," she grumbled, sleepily rubbing her still closed eyes. "What's got you so excited? Did you finally solve that pesky little world hunger problem?"

"No, I'm still working on that one." Lou smiled at the joke in Jo's face as the latter's eyes finally fluttered open. "But today's the Hazzard County Fair. We're all—us and the Dukes—going as a family: the whole Duke clan—or at least the Hazzard sect anyway. Me and you finally get to be a real part of the family!"

Realizing the actual capability of today to be a turning point for her and her sister in relation to their fiancées and soon to be in-laws, Jo started getting herself up. "All right, I'm up, I'm up." She threw her legs over the edge of her bed and sat up, yawning and stretching.

At that, a frown etched itself on Lou's face. "Still sleepy, Jo?" She glanced at a bedside clock. "It's a little past nine."

"I'm very sleepy," Jo replied groggily. "Yvonne was having her own little dance party in there last night. All night, she kept right on dancing. Kept me up the whole time."

Smiling, Lou tossed her sister some clothes. "Well, I thank God daily Xavier doesn't do much." She rested her hands over her stomach and child. "He's a regular old couch potato, I think, destined to lay on the couch all day and get fat off of chips and cake."

Just then, the little one himself decided to kick.

"Oof!" Lou exclaimed in pain and surprise, eyes going directly down to her belly. "I meant that in the best of ways, little man!" She tapped fingers against her stomach and looked down at it. "So don't you go kicking like that again!"

Jo just laughed. She could see where in the near future, Lou and Xavier were going to have a very close, and very odd relationship.

-+-+-+-

Eyes roaming the fairgrounds, Lou spied all ages of people from old men hobbling around with canes to young children escaping parent's stretching arms and babies riding on mothers' hips. The one thing everyone had in common was that small town charm and the excitement that an event like the fair bred.

"That's when you really know you live in a hicktown," Lou murmured at Bo, who was walking beside her. Uncle Jesse, Daisy, Jo and Luke had already split off in opposite directions, heading for different 'attractions.' "When the County Fair's still one of the biggest events for everybody in town, young and old."

He smiled over at Lou. "But it's fun. And who'd wanna be one of those city folk who never get to enjoy all of these little pleasures?"

Now it was Lou's turn to smile. "You never know quite how much you love it until you have to miss it. I speak from experience."

"What do you mean?"

Lou sighed. "These eight months we've been gone from Hazzard, me and Jo, we've been living in a little tiny apartment in downtown Atlanta. I didn't even realize how much I missed everything until I came back to Hazzard. It truly is a wonderful place."

"That it is," Bo agreed. "I don't think I can even imagine living in a big city."

"Well then, I think we've just decided our family's gonna be raised right here in Hazzard," she said, smiling. "Ain't gonna raise no city kids. Xavier's gonna learn to be a good country boy on the farm with his daddy."

Wincing, Bo gave Lou an accusing stare. "You just had to bring all that up, didn't you? Here we were, going along so nicely, no torment, no irritation, and then you have to go and bring all of that up."

"Sorry," Lou quickly apologized. "I didn't mean to."

"Don't you always mean to cause me problems and irritation?" Bo retorted.

"No, actually, I don't."

"You always seem to."

"Well, I don't," Lou informed him. "As much as neither of us wants it, Xavier's here and he's a big part of both of our lives. However, we can stow him away in the closet for now." She stared down at Xavier himself, reassuringly patting her belly. "And I mean that in the kindest of ways, son." She looked back towards Bo with a smile. "See, just pretend like he's not even here, and you and me don't have a wedding and a baby knocking on our doors. We're just friends."

Smiling at the idea, Bo nodded. "I could do that."

"Well then, Bo, what here will we do first?"

-+-+-+-

"So… they've got lots of food," Luke observed in Jo's direction. "Are you hungry?"

"What kind of question is that?" Jo retorted. "I'm pregnant for goodness' sake. I'm _always_ hungry, Luke."

Smiling, Luke was already moving towards a food booth. "Ok, then let me rephrase that. _What_ would you like to eat, Jo?"

"We—Yvonne and me—would just like popcorn and a soda, please," she replied.

Luke retrieved the requested food, and gladly handed it to Jo.

"Thank you."

"You're welcome."

She took the popcorn and sat it on the bulge of her stomach, just as if it were a table. She didn't notice Luke raise an eyebrow at that, but kept on walking, just a little oddly to keep the popcorn balanced.

"Jo, I've been meaning to ask this for awhile…" Luke started.

When he stopped, Jo turned an expectant look to him, but didn't prompt further. She herself was the master of thoughtful silence, after all, and didn't like to be prompted when she lapsed away. So why should do to someone else what she despised?

"Why did you wait eight months before coming back?" he finally said. "Why didn't you come back when you first realized you were pregnant?"

Now it was Jo's turn to walk in thoughtful silence. To be perfectly honest, she didn't quite know what had taken so long.

And she said as much. "I don't know." She paused, gripping for some sort of answer. "Fear, I reckon."

"Fear of what, Jo?" Luke asked quietly.

"Fear of rejection," she replied just as gently. "Fear of what might happen."

"Of how I might react?"

"Yes," she admitted.

"Well, how did you think I would?"

"I wasn't sure, but I was expecting you to ignore me, and tell me to leave. I was scared to death that even after I told you, you wouldn't much care."

"I wouldn't do that," Luke said.

"I know that now."

"What finally gave you the courage?" he asked.

"Not what, but who," she corrected. "Actually, two people. Courageous Lou, of course, and then little Yvonne. I think I finally realized that I couldn't just go on through life without telling you that you had a child—a daughter. I mean, what would I tell Yvonne when she asked who her father was?"

Silently, Luke nodded understanding.

_He's never heard you say so much at one time_, Jo told herself. What's he think about that?

And so the conversation just lapsed away for a while.

-+-+-+-

Lou stood and watched Bo throw a baseball at five stacked milk bottles, attempting to knock them over in three tries for a prize. The first hit the bottles with a fair amount of force, but didn't topple any of them.

When he brought his arm back for the second attempt, she watched closer.

Again, it hit but didn't topple a single bottle.

The booth's operative kept hollowly cheering him on, saying he'd get them yet.

Grunting with frustration, Bo pulled his arm back for the final try.

Lou reached out and stopped him quickly. "You're never gonna knock over even one like that," she said. "You've got awful form, and don't get the physics of the whole thing. Center of gravity and such."

Raising a brow, he offered her the ball. "Think you can do better?" he challenged.

"No," she retorted. "I _know_ I can do better." And she snatched it from his hand. "Now because of my current physical state, my stance and form is a little odd…"

She set her feet a little further apart to better accommodate her weight, and brought her arm back.

Staring at her position, Bo laughed. "You're never gonna hit anything like _that_."

"Shut-up," Lou snapped. "I told you I had to stand oddly. And just let me throw it and you'll see who can and can't hit anything." Again, she brought her arm back…

And she brought it forward, snapping her wrist at the last moment, sending the ball spinning right into the very middle of the middle and bottom rows. The bottom row collapsed, then the second and uppermost after having their support removed.

"Winner!" the booth's operator exclaimed, retrieving the bottles. "Miss, choose any one of these prizes."

Lou turned a smug, satisfied smirk to Bo. "So, what'll it be, loser?"

Bo just scoffed and folded his arms. "Show off," he accused.

Quickly, Lou's smirk became a grin. "Darn straight."

-+-+-+-

The sky was darkening and lights beginning to come on all across the fairgrounds when Jo and Luke got on board. It was a little close to Jo's swollen stomach, but if she sat a little sideways towards Luke, she fit just fine.

She sighed contentedly as the wheel began its lazy rotation, staring out over the lights below. "Thanks," she muttered quietly to Luke.

"What for?" he asked.

"For everything," she replied. "Today in particular."

"You're welcome."

Both just smiled lightly at each other and sat back as the wheel went around like the wheel of time itself.

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**TBC shortly...**

**And now, REVIEW.**


	10. How Word Travels!

**Ok, sorry this took so long, but as some of you have seen, I stopped to write a short Dukes Christmas story! Not only that, but my church had a musical in which I was one of the main characters, so life's been busy.  
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**Also, I apologize for the shortness of this chapter!**

**Thank you, all of you wonderful reviewers, and keep on reviewing!**

**TO ANONYMOUS REVIEWERS:**

**ruby: Like I said before, just give the stubborn fools some time. :)**

**JJJ: Well now, it wouldn't be a Dukes of Hazzard fic without SOMEONE being thrown in jail, now would it? But just a warning, it may not happen the way you plan... ((evil smile))

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_**Chapter dedication: to all those small town gossipers who never get ANYTHING right! **_

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**How Word Travels!**

"Good morning, Mrs. Hogg," greeted Lulu's usual beautician and all of Hazzard's main gossip supplier as the wide woman walked into the Hazzard beauty parlor.

"Well, good morning to you too, Mary-Jane," Lulu returned with a smile.

Mary-Jane returned the smile, gesturing towards a chair. "Go ahead and have a seat. I'm ready for you already."

"So, what's the dirt going on around town?" Lulu asked, lowering her bulk into the seat. "Anything interesting lately?"

"Oh, lots of very interesting things," replied Mary-Jane, already starting her work on Mrs. Hogg's hair. "Very, very interesting things."

"Well tell me then!"

"Well, firstly, Old Man Jenkins' daughter got kicked out of college," the beautician said. "She got caught in a boy's dorm!"

"Little Sally Jenkins?" cried Lulu, hands covering her heart in surprise. "I would've never thought it of her!"

"Yes! And she having such a bright future after Capitol City College!"

"My, my! Anything else interesting?"

"Well, it's been goin' all around town, and no one's really confirmed it yet…" started Mary-Jane, seemingly uncertainly. But her uncertainty was just a device to make it more interesting. "The Duke boys are gettin' _married_!"

"No!" Lulu cried in disbelief. "Those two playboys? I don't think so!"

"Yes!" Mary-Jane confirmed. "Uncle Jesse's making them."

"Why?"

"Well, it seems two old girlfriends of theirs showed up pregnant!"

"No!"

"Yes!"

"Who?" asked Lulu. "Which 'girlfriends'?"

"Twins, I think," replied the beautician. "Betty-Lou and Bobbie-Jo, I heard their names were."

"Which is Bo's fiancée, and which is Luke's?"

"I think it's Jo and Bo, and Lou and Luke," Mary-Jane replied. "See? Got their own little rhymes a-goin' on."

"Well now," Lulu said, "that is_ interesting_."

-+-+-+-

"Well, you've just got a dead battery," Cooter announced, coming out from under the hood of his latest customer's pick-up truck. "I'll just jump it and you'll be all set to go, Miss Muriel."

"Why thank ya, sonny," the old lady replied, smiling. "I just don't know how to do anything with these wing-ding gadgets these days."

Cooter smiled politely. "Well, lucky for you, ma'am, I do."

The old lady let out a laugh that sounded like squeaky door hinges.

Attaching the jumper cables to the battery, Cooter tried not to laugh.

"Hey, did you hear about the Duke boys' babies?" Muriel asked.

Cooter almost shocked himself with the battery jumper. "What?" he said.

"The Duke boys have babies," the woman continued. "It's been going all around town. I can't believe you haven't heard anything."

"What did _you_ hear?" Cooter asked, carefully guarding the fact that he himself knew anything. After all, hadn't Bo and Luke themselves sworn him to complete secrecy about this whole deal?

"That the babies' mothers just showed up at the Duke doorstep with babies in their arms!" the old woman replied. "Newborns, both of them. Bo has twins even!"

'That's not right!" the mechanic blurted. "You heard completely wrong."

The old woman arched an eyebrow. "How do you know?"

"Uh…" Cooter tried to come up with a quick lie, but being the dull man he is, wasn't able to, so he just quickly said, "I'm just guessing."

Old Miss Muriel looked at Cooter like he was a little crazy—which, in my opinion, he most definitely is—but didn't say anything more.

-+-+-+-

Enos Strate was going to the bank to deposit the usual small fraction of his paycheck into his savings account when he heard the news, tainted and skewed as it was. After depositing Enos' money, the teller, an old friend of Enos' from grade school, decided he'd share the latest and hottest gossip in town.

"Did you hear about the Duke boys' predicament?" he said.

"Which one is that?" Enos asked.

"Well, it seems that two of their lady friends from a few months back have showed up," the teller replied. "And it seems they're pregnant."

"Really?"

"The babies are Bo and Luke's, too!" he continued conspiratorially. "But the boys don't know that. They think the babies are other men's."

"Wow," Enos replied. "And no one's gotten up the courage to tell them?"

"No," the teller answered. "One of the girls is a might feisty little thing, and downright mean sometimes. It's my opinion everyone's scared to tell Bo and Luke because of the little lady."

"Hmm," Enos said thoughtfully. "Well, I've gotta run. See you in church Sunday morning, Joe."

"See ya, Enos."

No sooner had Enos taken two steps outside of the bank and out onto the sidewalk when he spied Bo and Luke headed his way, waving at the town's doctor.

"Good morning, Doc Appleby," both said.

Apparently knowing the news, the doctor just threw a wary glance around and looked for a quick excuse to run in the opposite direction. "Can't talk," he said shortly, hurriedly striding off. "Lives to save and such."

"What's gotten into him?" Luke wondered aloud.

Enos, also being overcome by the impulse to turn and run, attempted to, but wasn't quite quick enough.

"Enos!"

Not daring to do otherwise, the deputy turned towards the boys with a smile plastered to his face. "Well, howdy, Bo. Howdy, Luke."

"What's goin' on?" Bo said conversationally.

"Uh, nothing!" Enos said quickly. "Gotta run!" And with that, he turned and ran off.

"What's with this town?" Bo questioned. "Suddenly, out of nowhere, we're outcasts!"

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**Well, as you can see, EVERYBODY's got it wrong, and ain't NOBODY got it right!**

**TBC probably by tomorrow! **


	11. When Bacon Attacks

**Oh, my gosh, sorry this took so long! I had a big blow-up fight that landed me on computer restriction... Fortunately, I found a way to get off of restriction without compromising my position in the battle... Anyway...  
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** This chapter's also short, and quite silly as you can tell by the title, but I hope it makes y'all laugh!**

**And leave reviews, as always!

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**When Bacon Attacks**

The clock read seven o'clock when Lou rolled out of bed, unable to sleep because of her little son's antics—dancing, as Jo called it. Hadn't it been only two days ago Lou had said to Jo that her baby was a couch potato and destined _only_ to be a couch potato?

_He's getting his revenge_, she thought to herself. _And he ain't gonna quit till he's aggravated you to death and made you eat your words. Seems little Xavier's taken stubborn lessons from his mama. And now that I think about it, his daddy ain't all that passive either._

The scent of a good breakfast cooking reached Lou before she was even in the kitchen, and immediately hungered and drawn by the aroma, she found Uncle Jesse making breakfast just like every other morning she'd been here at the Duke farm. Country breakfasts were the only way to start out the day, even if one had constant morning sickness like Lou and lost that breakfast soon thereafter.

"Well, good morning, Uncle Jesse," she greeted the old man.

"Good morning, Betty-Lou," he returned from where he was standing at the stove. "Did you sleep well?"

Taking a seat at the table, Lou shook her head. "No, sir, I didn't. Xavier insisted on kicking me all night."

"You and Bo are gonna name the baby Xavier?" he asked.

"Well…" Lou started, looking for a way to say this. A moment's thought brought her the answer. "Bo doesn't have much of a say in the baby's name. _I_ want to name the baby Xavier, but Bo hates the name. He keeps insisting that I can't and won't name the baby that." Reflexively, she threw a glance over her shoulder to where Bo himself slept on one of the living room couches. "But I'm gonna, bright as day."

Silently, Uncle Jesse nodded tightly. He didn't say so, but Lou knew he thought she was being unreasonable. But kindly, he let the whole conversation just drop and she didn't feel obligated to pour more gas into that fire.

Eventually, Lou had to say something. "I wish I could cook," she said, observing Jesse's practiced hands. "That would be nice."

"You mean you can't?" Uncle Jesse asked. "How did that happen?"

"Well, first off, my mama died when me and Jo were pretty young," she replied slowly. "All of six years old, we were. My dad wasn't much of a cook himself, and we had no aunts or grandmas to teach us either. So we just grew up not knowing how to cook much of anything. I knew how to heat stuff up, and that was about it. Well, in the time since, me and Jo have picked up small bits and pieces of cooking skills, but nothing worth mentioning."

"Well, that's gonna be hard for you being a wife and mother soon," Uncle Jesse informed her.

"Yeah, it is."

"You can come and help me," he offered. "Frying bacon is really easy, and I'll help ya."

"Well, alright," Lou said, standing and walking over to the stove. "What do I do?"

Handing her a fork, Jesse explained shortly. "It's ready to be turned. Just take the fork and flip the pieces over so they can cook on the other side." Lou started to comply, and he quickly added a warning. "Watch out for the grease. It'll—"

But it was too late. Hot grease jumped out of the pan and landed on Lou's outstretched hand, burning her. She yelped in pain as she withdrew her hand, clutching it in her other one. Under her breath, she quietly cursed the bacon and swore she'd never get the hang of this.

-+-+-+-

When Bo awoke, the sound that greeted his ears was a string of nasty cussing in a quiet feminine voice. It took him a moment, but he recognized the voice as Lou's and it prompted him to sit up and see what it was that had her so aggravated.

What he saw was her standing at the stove with Uncle Jesse, her hand curled back tightly, almost to a fist. She was biting out the curses under her breath, and shaking a fork at a pan out of which bacon grease was leaping and popping.

"Having a fight with the bacon, are you, Lou?"

"Yes!" she practically shouted. "And so I come to a decision: I'm not learning to cook. If you're that hungry, you can get up and make it yourself!"

"You're crazy, you know that, woman?" Bo rolled his eyes as he stood. "Just plain crazy. You can learn to make bacon, just give it another go."

"Like I said: if you're that hungry, you can make it yourself." With that, Lou plopped herself down at the table, folding her hands around the bulge of her son over the top of her silken nightgown. "I don't have the patience now, certainly and probably won't later on."

"Don't worry, I'll do it now," Uncle Jesse cut in before Bo could argue. "You can always learn that stuff as you go along."

A groggy voice from the bedrooms turned all three heads. "Well, what the heck are you people arguing about so early?"

"Bacon, and cooking," Lou replied.

"Oh, how fabulous."

Bo had never heard such sarcasm come out of Jo's sweet little mouth. _Either Lou's overbearing personality is rubbing off on her—God help us all if that's the case—or she's really tired._

"Lou's given up attempting to cook after five seconds of trying," Bo said.

"That bacon grease hates me," Lou protested. "I swear it had it in for me the whole time. Burned the crap outta my hand, that evil stuff."

Bo started to laugh, until Lou shot him an angered look, at which he quickly quieted.

"So, I'll give it a go," Jo said as eagerly as Bo had ever heard. "Let's see if the grease has some odd vendetta against me too."

-+-+-+-

As it turned out, Lou was the bacon's only enemy. Jo got it all cooked with ease, and at breakfast, it all quickly disappeared—some even went into Lou's stomach, despite her anger at it.

But less than an hour after breakfast ended, as Lou walked outside just to sit on the front porch, the bacon came to attack her again.

It started with the average unsettled stomach, then quickly progressed to finding its way back out of Lou, burning her throat along the way. Right out of her mouth and off into the grass, it went. It wasn't so bad in comparisons to past cases and only part of it came back up, but Lou hated it just the same.

And so after it was done, she silently cursed morning sickness and pregnancy in general.

When she'd exhausted that, she just went on cursing other things that made her situation what it was.

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**Oh, I forgot to mention... I'm going out of town for the holidays, starting on the 23rd. I won't be back home to my computer until about New Year's, and I'll try and get all that I can done, but I'm not sure how much that'll be. Hopefully I'll get right down towards the finish line... :D Oh, and I'm already planning a sequel, if you folks'll read it!**


	12. Girl Talk

**Three cheers for quick updates! HOORAY!**

**And everybody, you've gotta stay in the dark about who's landing in jail... It's a surprise. But you should find out in 3 chapters or so.

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**Girl Talk**

Lou was frustrated and Jo saw it plain as the daylight. And she could understand it. The day had started off with the whole bacon incident, then progressed from bad to worse for Lou as she realized that there were a lot of "housewife duties" that she wasn't ready for. Laundry, cooking, cleaning… About the only thing she _could_ do was wash dishes, and only that because she'd had to learn early on. In her life with Jo, that had been Lou's main responsibility, besides working to pay for everything.

Jo, on the other hand, had always been the one to do the laundry and clean up—since Lou was basically a pig. So she had a better outlook on the way things were going for her and the way things would go for her after the wedding.

She could say with more than relative certainty that Luke was going to be more taken care of than Bo after the double wedding.

"Wipe that dang smug look off your face, Bobbie-Jo Johnson," Lou growled, leaning back heavily on the couch. "Or I might just have to knock it off."

"A: you know better than to call _me _smug, Lou," Jo replied, taking a seat on a different couch. "B: _I _know better than to think _you_'d actually hit little ol' me."

"Dang, did I ever tell you how much I hate it when you're right?"

Smiling at her sister, Jo nodded. "Only a million times, Lou—make that a million and one."

Loudly, Lou groaned.

It was then that Daisy Duke walked in the door, home from a day at work. When she noticed the twins lounging on the living room couches, she smiled brightly. "Well, did you two have a tiring day?"

"Yes," Lou quickly answered.

Daisy took a seat. "Well, what was so bad about it?"

"I am not gonna be a good housewife," Lou whined. "I can't do anything! I burnt myself trying to cook bacon, almost ruined a bunch of clothes trying to wash them, and just don't have the patience for cleaning up. Chalk that up to just one more reason for Bo to hate me."

"Oh, he doesn't hate you, honey!" Daisy quickly assured Lou.

_Good luck getting her to believe that_, Jo thought at Daisy, inwardly rolling her eyes at her sister. _And it'd be just as hard to convince Bo that _Lou _doesn't hate_ him_. In either case, you'd have better luck trying to pry old Boss Hogg's wallet right out of his fat little hand._

"I've ruined his life, he ruined mine, and it looks like it's gonna keep on going that way," Lou replied. "The reason I left Hazzard in the first place was frustration with him. We're just two people that are too different, Daisy."

"A lot of people think that way until they see things will work out."

"Yeah, right," Lou retorted, wrinkling her nose. "We're like two horses trying to pull in opposite directions: we can't get anywhere."

"Well, if those two horses weren't quite as stubborn, maybe they could get where they need to go," Daisy replied softly. "You give a little, you get a little."

"Maybe," Lou said quietly.

"Maybe nothing," Jo retorted, opting to throw her two cents into the conversation. "You _know_ if you gave in a little, Lou, you might actually get somewhere. I think you're scared to throw in the towel even a little. Because you know things might just work out."

"Excuse me?" Lou growled. "I'm not afraid of anything."

"Except giving in," Jo countered. "And appearing weak."

Lou's jaw tightened, and she made no reply.

_Fine, get angry at me_, Jo thought at her sister. _But I'm going to ride this out to the end and show you just what it is you're doing to me, yourself and these poor Dukes._

"You've always been afraid of looking like you're not the tough, strong girl," she said aloud. "When we were younger, you had to be. I realize that. And that strong façade has made us keep things held in, ain't it? That strong 'I'm Lou and I can do anything' personality is what kept us hiding things, ain't it?"

Lou's gray eyes turned towards Jo murderously, and the firm set of her face commanded Jo to shut her mouth right now, or else. But for once, Jo had had enough of Lou's commands, and she was going to press onward anyway.

Now of course, Daisy was curious as to what was going on, but was also scared about what she might be about to hear. _Oh, my gosh, what have I gotten myself into?_ she thought.

And when Jo turned her gaze to Daisy, she was sitting there like a deer caught in the headlights.

"So, do you want to hear mine and Lou's big secret, Daisy?" Jo asked.

"Uh…"

"We're just about broke," Jo continued anyway. "Yeah, that's it. We have no money to our names. That's part of the reason we came to stay here."

Daisy just nodded slowly.

"Yeah, doesn't sound like much, huh? But it's true. We have nothing but our suitcases and our car."

After throwing back her head to groan at the ceiling, Lou sighed. "So, wondering how that came about, Daisy? I'll tell you anyway. See, we've always had to work for a living, and when you're pregnant, it's kinda hard to work. Even harder to get work after you get fired from your first job for _being _pregnant. We both kept working as long as we could, which was up until about a month ago, and then we just ran out of money. Couldn't pay the rent. So we took all we had and came out this way. I figured your family had to do something for us. And besides, living in Hazzard's cheaper than living in Atlanta."

"What about your father?" Daisy asked. "Why didn't you ask him for help?"

With pain in her eyes, Lou glanced at Daisy. "He disowned us after he found out what we did."

"Oh." Daisy looked like she personally had been slapped. "I'm so sorry."

"He never had much to do with us after our mom's death," Jo said quietly. "It just took a little something like Yvonne and Xavier's existences to push him over the edge into turning his back on us."

"You girls have it harder than anyone realizes," Daisy said with compassion for the twins in her voice and eyes.

"All we can do is deal with what the Good Lord deals us," Jo replied.

"Well, don't neither of you go worrying." Smiling, Daisy took one of each of the twins' hands. "You two are gonna officially be Dukes in about a week, and you're already part of the family. You're gonna be well taken care of for the rest of your lives."

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** Go, Jo, go:D I've been working on another special Christmas story about the Dukes, just for everyone's info... And for anyone that missed it, I already did one called the Santa Claus of Hazzard... **


	13. Tender Tears

**WOOHOO! I've been waiting to write this chapter ever since I started this story. Seriously.**

**K, to everybody, please review this chapter especially.**

**To all who've been waiting for more Jo/Luke love than Lou/Bo arguments, here you go.**

**To all: Alright, the two people who currently know who's gonna wind up in jail later on are me and my sister.**

**Anyway, read and review.

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**

**Tender Tears**

"Guess what I found out today," Bo said, striding through the front door. Sitting side to side on the living room couch, Jo and Lou both looked up questioningly. "Well, I found out that there have been several rumors about us and our situations going around town. Everybody thinks something different."

"What kind of things?" Jo asked.

Luke, who'd come in the door behind Bo, answered first. "Well, some people have the pairings all screwed. They think I'm with Lou and you're with Bo."

"Lou and Luke, Bo and Jo," Jo stated. "If you look, that is a sort of odd coincidence."

Nodding, Luke continued. "Some people thought you two had already had your babies. Some people thought that Lou was having twins instead of you two _being_ twins. And then most people thought me and Bo didn't know the babies were ours, and so they were avoiding us!"

"Lived the outcast life for once, huh?" Lou grumbled, rolling her eyes.

"Well, what's your problem?" Bo shot back at the mother of his child.

Dropping her eyes back to her book—the same one she'd been trying to get through for the week and a half—Lou simply grunted, "Nothing."

"Uh-uh, there's a fly in your butter," Bo pursued. "I can tell."

"The only 'fly in my butter' is you," she retorted, still keeping her eyes glued to the book, even as her tone got angrier.

"What's the matter with you?" Luke asked, defensive on his cousin's behalf.

"Didn't I just answer that question?"

"Betty-Lou, _what is your problem_?" Jo almost shouted.

"Why does everyone think that I have some kind of problem?" Lou cried. "I'm just fine, thanks everybody!"

"You're acting stupid, Lou!" Jo yelled with intense frustration at her sister. "Would you just stop it and tell us what the heck is bothering you?"

"My gosh, how many times do I have to say this!" Lou finally slammed her book down in anger and bellowed her anger to the ceiling before turning her smoldering eyes to Jo. "I have no problem. I'm just fine, drop it now."

"Was it something I said?" Bo pressed.

"Yes, dangit!" shouted Lou, popping up to her feet. "It was all your fault." The sarcasm in her voice was as deep as the sea—as was her anger. "You coming in here and proclaiming 'Oh, I found out there are rumors.' Yeah, real big discovery there, Bo. We knew people were talking all along!"

"Well, so-rry!" he hollered in return.

"You know, just forget it," she scoffed. "Forget it." And she took her angered self with hard, thumping steps off into her room, slamming the door closed behind her.

"What was that all about?" Bo asked Jo after Lou had sealed herself away. "What in the world has gotten into that woman?"

"God only knows," Jo replied quietly. "She hasn't been herself for the past couple of days."

"How so?" Luke asked.

"She's too irritable," she replied, staring off at the door that separated them from Lou, as if she were Superman and had X-ray vision to see right through. "And she's too… introverted. She won't explain herself either—like you just saw." Closing her eyes, Jo sighed.

"Do you have any idea what it is?" Bo said, also looking at the door.

"If I didn't know no better, I'd say pregnancy hormones finally got to her," Jo said, standing and placing her hand over her own swollen belly. "But she's Lou, and even hormones couldn't do all that." She paused, sighing again. "Something emotional has hold of her and it's driving her crazy."

"Maybe," Bo said.

_This is great_, Jo thought. _On top of a wedding coming up in a week and a baby to be delivered a week after that (if she doesn't decide to come along sooner), I have to deal with a psychotic sister. _"Just give her time," she said aloud, walking out the front door to the porch. Neither of the boys followed her, and she dropped herself into a rocking chair with a sigh. "Because as they say," she whispered to herself, "time changes everything."

-+-+-+-

"Well, this is a lovely mess," Bo said, throwing his hands up. "We'll be married in a week, and our wives-to-be are both crazy."

"Not crazy," Luke replied. "Pregnant and worried."

"Not a good mix, apparently."

"You should go apologize to Lou," Luke said with a pointed look towards Lou's door.

"What?" Bo cried. "I didn't do anything!"

"Doesn't matter," Luke replied. "It'll make her feel better."

"You don't know that."

"I'm guessing," Luke admonished. "But you know I'm right."

For a moment, Bo just simmered. After all that he'd been through, forced into a marriage and forced to care for his fiancée and soon his child—neither of which he wanted—he was going to have to sink down and say sorry to the woman he hated for causing all of this.

"Fine," he finally grumbled. "I'll go apologize for something I didn't do, since apparently it's gonna make everybody feel better."

Because his back was turned, Bo didn't see Luke's nod and half-smile.

Gently, he knocked on the door. Inside, Lou gave no response. So he knocked again, but got the same result.

"Lou?" he asked.

Still, she gave no reply. Not a sound.

So he warily opened the door and called her name again. She was sitting there on her bed (well, his if you wanted to get technical), with her back to the door, staring out the window silently. He was almost scared to go on further, scared that she might be just sitting there simmering in anger and waiting to fly off the handle at anyone who interrupted.

But he edged on anyway, reflexively pushing the door closed behind him. "Lou?" he asked again. Still, she didn't turn.

So he walked across the room to her and laid a hand on her shoulder.

That time, she did turn to face him.

And he saw silent tears just running down her cheeks, leaving wet trails across her face and making her makeup run.

And instantly, his heart softened. "Oh, what's the matter, Lou?" he asked gently.

"Everything," she whispered in return, voice breaking lightly through her tears. "Things aren't gonna work, Bo. You don't want this baby, I don't want this baby. But he's coming, and we have to deal with it. And it's not gonna work."

"Yes, they will," he gently reassured her.

"I'd run off and go, and you'd never have to worry about the baby at all. But I don't think I'd be able to take care of myself and little Xavier. And then when he asks me who his father is, I'm gonna tell him. I'll tell him his daddy is Bo Duke. But do you want his next question to be 'Who's Bo Duke?'?"

The words hit Bo in the heart… hard. Lou had the nail on the head knowing he didn't want the child, but really, he didn't think he could now stand knowing that out there somewhere was his baby, not knowing his father. "No, I don't, Lou," he replied truthfully.

"See? You couldn't stand that situation either."

"We could put him up for adoption," he suggested lightly. "There are lots of people out there who'd want a little baby boy—people who couldn't have kids of their own."

"I thought about that too," Lou said. "But I've already gotten attached. I couldn't go on with life knowing that someone else was holding my baby. The baby that I carried around in my body for nine miserable months—the one I suffered for."

"I understand," he replied, nodding.

Her sobs intensified. "Oh, this is a mess!"

"I know, I know." Reflexively, Bo reached out a hand and was gently rubbing along her back. She didn't flinch or stop her sobbing.

"Bo, I'm sorry for coming back and getting you tangled up in this. So sorry."

"You don't have anything to be sorry for, Lou," he replied gently. "Nothing at all to be sorry for."

Still racked by sobs, Lou turned to Bo and practically threw herself against his chest. His arms tightened around her, and he held her tight until the sobs died away.

-+-+-+-

Jo had been sitting on the porch for almost an hour before Luke came out to join her, taking the other rocking chair.

"Out here contemplating the meaning of life?" he asked.

She smiled lightly. "Just the way mine is going."

"Well, is that a good thing or a bad thing?"

"A little of both," Jo said with a sigh. "I'm glad to be finally settling in to a good, steady life for once. But then I'm also sad to see the single life go."

Luke nodded once. "Your life's been rocky?" he asked.

"Daisy didn't tell you?" One of Jo's brows was raised questioningly, and when Luke shook his head, the other one went up in surprise. "Well, I guess there's not much reason to keep it from you…" She paused. "Lou and I…are broke. We have no money, and basically we have next to nothing."

"You have nothing?" Luke was genuinely surprised.

Jo nodded. "Not even family to care for us. The only family we know is our dad, and he wants nothing to do with us. We really have no one."

"You have me," he reminded her.

"Yes, I do," she agreed. "And I thank God for that. I couldn't have asked for a better man to care for me and my baby."

Blushing, Luke looked for a way to respond to that. It wasn't long before he found the words. "And I couldn't have asked for a sweeter woman to have my children," he said with a smile. "You really are one in a million, Bobbie-Jo."

Now it was Jo's turn to blush. "Aw, shucks. I'm nothing to gawk at, Luke."

"Yes, you are," he insisted. "In fact, I think this whole mess just made me fall in love with you all over again."

That surprised Jo, and touched her heart. "What?" she asked softly. "What did you say?"

"I love you," he repeated.

"Oh, my." Quickly, she turned her eyes away from Luke, shaking with a sudden surge of emotion. It took her a moment, but she worked up the courage to say something in return. "You know, there've only been two people in all my life that have told me that and I believed them—before now that is. Lou and my mom." So she wasn't ready to tell him the same yet… Well, she'd get to it sooner or later.

"Well, I don't think I've ever meant those words more than I do now."

Now Jo was really at a loss at how she could respond to that… So she just kept her mouth shut.

Until Yvonne decided to kick. And at that, Jo let out a startled gasp.

"What is it?" Luke asked, alarm evident in his voice.

Closing her eyes, Jo wrapped her hands around her belly and felt her daughter move from the inside and the out. "I'm alright," she assured Luke in a whisper. "Come here."

She opened her eyes just long enough to glance at Luke walking slowly towards her.

"Give me your hand, Luke."

He did, and she reached out and took it, guiding it down. And she laid his hand across her swollen belly gently, reveling in the tingling goose-bumps that his touch induced. He could feel the movement, and she knew it.

"Luke, that's Yvonne moving," she said quietly. "That's your daughter."

"No, Jo," he whispered against her ear, breath blowing across her cheek. "That's _our_ daughter, Jo. Not mine. Ours."


	14. Surprise at Hazzard Pond

**Well, it just so happens that I managed to get this done the day before I leave... Hooray! You guys will have to wait until the next chapter to find out who goes to jail though...

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**Surprise at Hazzard Pond**

After Lou's emotional breakdown in front of Bo, she didn't talk about it again. And taking the hint, neither did he. Both went along for the rest of the day as though it never had happened.

However, if Lou and Bo acted no different, Jo and Luke acted a good deal unusual. Both seemed to smile a little more, especially at each other. And Lou, who had grown used to Jo's light, half-hearted smile over the years, noticed how much brighter it seemed.

_Something happened between them_, she thought, observing the two at dinner. _And something good, if I had to guess._

And when the sisters were laying down to sleep that night, Lou asked.

"What's up between you and Luke?" she bluntly inquired.

Jo smiled into the darkness, which Lou couldn't see. "Nothing," she replied quietly.

"Uh-uh, honey. I can see something happened."

For a moment, Jo was quiet before answering. "Luke told me something very special today. Very special."

Now it was Lou's turn to smile behind the blanket of night's shadows where Jo couldn't see. "Lemme guess," she said. "He told you that he loves you."

"Yeah. How did you know?"

"C'mon, it's been pretty obvious, Jo. He's been in love with you since we came back. I can't believe you didn't see it." She stopped, and Jo didn't reply. So Lou decided to push further. "What did you say back?"

"Um…"

"You didn't say anything, _did you_?"

"No, I said something."

"But it wasn't 'I love you, too,' _huh_?"

"No, I didn't say that."

"Jo!" Lou cried, rolling over so that she was facing her sister. She could barely see her twin in the gloom, but it was enough. "You_ idiot_! You're supposed to tell him you love him too!"

"But I'm not sure I do, Lou."

"You're gonna break that poor man's heart!"

"He didn't seem heartbroken," Jo insisted. "Not at all."

"Ooh. What did he do?"

"I took his hand and let him feel Yvonne move," Jo replied slowly. "And I told him that that was his baby moving around, and he told me no, it was ours."

"Aw!" Lou exclaimed. "Luke's so sweet."

"Bo can be too, if you let him."

"I don't think so. And besides, Luke loves you and you love Luke—even if you won't admit it. That's just not the case with Bo and me. You can't honestly tell me that's not the case."

"No, I can't," Jo agreed. "But, I can tell you that a lot of people learn to love each other if they give it the chance."

"I'm not entirely sure I want to give Bo that chance," Lou replied in an almost inaudible whisper. "I—" She couldn't even bring herself to say more, so she rolled away from Jo and said no more.

And Jo didn't press, knowing her sister was a defensive woman. A defensive woman who had too much on her mind as of late.

-+-+-+-

Two days. Only two more days as a bachelorette for Betty-Lou Johnson, and forever afterwards she'd be Mrs. Betty-Lou Duke.

_Ew_, Lou thought. _That sounds odd. Too odd. I'll have to be Betty-Lou _Johnson_-Duke. Jeez, what's with me and hyphens?_

Just the thought broke through her current anxiety and made her smile.

But her relief didn't last long, and it faded away back into her apprehension. A wedding was peeking over her shoulder, and for once, she was actually truly and completely worried about how her wedding was going to go… And just how the groom was going to act.

And that anxiety was why she was out here in the middle of nowhere basically, sitting on the banks of Hazzard Pond in the summer heat. She needed a place to be alone with her worries and stress, all by herself so there wasn't a chance on earth that she would break down in front of anyone again—particularly Bo.

**_That_**, she thought, _was a disaster._ She was just glad that she'd been able to act like it had never happened, and Bo had taken the hint.

The heat was starting to get to Lou… Southern summers were always taxing, even if you weren't walking around with triple your normal body fat.

So Lou stood, and started unbuttoning her shirt. The pond was just sitting there, begging her to go swimming. And so she stripped down to her underwear and bra, and waded right in.

Ah, it felt so dang good. Nice and cool as a sharp contrast to the thick heat.

It wasn't long before she was in up to her shoulders, and she dipped under the water's surface. She kept her eyes closed even as she came back up and started into a slow backstroke, using her swollen stomach as an aid to help keep her afloat.

And abruptly, she bumped into something going backwards—no wait,_ someone_.

Instantly, her eyes flew open and reflexively she shrieked, covered herself with her arms and ducked back under the water with just half of her face out.

And she instantly recognized the person she'd bumped into, standing probably four feet in front of her, also mostly hidden beneath the water.

"Bo!" she shouted. "What the heck are _you_ doing here!"

"Swimming," he answered. "What are you doing here?"

"Swimming," she retorted.

Rolling his eyes, he stood, making the water level go down from his shoulders to mid-chest. "Why are you hiding underneath the water? Let me guess, you're naked."

"No," Lou replied, still keeping herself under the water. "I'm wearing my bra and underwear, thank you very much."

"Then why won't you stand up? It's not like I haven't_ seen_ you before."

"Oh, please, don't remind me." Lou rolled her eyes. "Besides, that's before my body was completely mutilated by pregnancy."

"Well, it really makes no difference to me."

"Hold up!" she said as a thought dawned on her. "Please tell me _you_'ve got something on."

Smiling, Bo shook his head. "Nope. Naked as the day I was born."

"Gross!" Lou exclaimed, flicking her hands at him.

"We had a baby, and you're telling me—" he started.

"Yes!" she cut in. "Now go put some clothes on! At least your underwear."

"And treat you to a very nice view of my butt?" he retorted. "I don't think so."

Rolling her eyes, Lou scoffed. "Weren't you the one that was just saying—?"

"Well, that's different," he interrupted. "The water's covering me now."

"You just go put on your underwear." Lou turned her back to him, offering opportunity. "See? I won't look."

"I'm so sure of that," Bo retorted. But he did get out, slid on his boxers and splash back into the pond, without Lou turning around. "There. Happy?"

"Much better," Lou replied, turning back towards him. "Now I don't feel so… dirty."

"Dirty?" he asked. "Oh, my gosh, Lou. After all that you and I did, you're telling me that skinny dipping makes you feel dirty?"

Sighing, Lou rolled her eyes again. "Didn't I tell you not to remind me?"

"Kinda hard to do when you're walking around with that humongous stomach."

Lou pushed off of the bottom of the pond, arching into another slow backstroke and flashing Bo a good view of her bare stomach, stretch-marks and all. "This one?" she asked sarcastically.

"Gosh, Lou," he said at the sight. "Is that…?"

"Yes, it's normal," she said, dropping back into the water. "They're just regular old ugly stretch scars. I told you pregnancy mutilated me." With a sigh, she started to wade back out of the water. "Oddest thing that someone so pretty becomes so ugly for nine months for her child."

The cool water slid past her and she sat herself down on the warm grass bank. Water droplets fell from her as she lay on her side in the sun to dry.

"Oh, stop your whining," Bo retorted, wading out to join Lou on the bank. "You're not that ugly."

"Well, thanks for your opinion. But I think I'll keep mine. Stretch scars and extra body fat are hideous."

"But you're enduring it all for our son," he argued. "So it's all in the name of love. And that's more beautiful than anything."

"Oh, my gosh, when did you get so philosophical?" Lou asked the man laying down beside her. "I'm not so sure I like you this way." Her hand curled on her stomach. "You're scaring Xavier too."

Immediately, Bo bolted upright. "You are _not_ naming our baby Xavier!"

Tired of this same old argument, Lou sat up too. "Ok, fine. What would you want to name him?"

"Um…"

"Well, 'um' ain't exactly a good baby name, Bo," Lou retorted.

"Well, hold on, I'm getting there."

"Well what would you want to name him?" she drew out impatiently. "Beaureguard?"

"Hey!" he protested to the use of his full name. "I don't like it any more than you."

"Oh, right. Blame it all on your mother."

"Just shut-up about my name, huh, _Betty_-Lou?"

"Hey, that won't work," she warned, wagging a finger. "I'm not in the least ashamed of my name. It's great. And besides, just get on with telling me the baby's name."

"Jesse," Bo finally said. "He should be named for Uncle Jesse."

"Awwwww," Lou drawled. "But as sweet and kind as that is,_ no_."

"Yes!"

"No!"

"Yes!"

"No!"

"Rock, paper, scissors!" Bo suggested.

"Fine!" agreed Lou. "I love to see you lose."

And so they played rock, paper, scissors. Lou showed a rock, and Bo paper.

"Hah!" he exclaimed in triumph. "His name will be Jesse!" He reached over and tapped his hands on Lou's bare, stretched stomach. "You hear that, son?" he said to her belly. "Your name's Jesse!"

"Do you realize we just played a game to decide our baby's name?" Lou asked, shoving his hands away from her abdomen.

"Yeah. So?"

"So, I'm not honoring a game as a name-decider. His name is Xavier, end of story!"

"Hey!" Bo protested. "That's not fair!"

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**Lol, they are so funny... Anyway, leave reviews. Thanks to everyone who does, because reviews are like alcohol: The more you have, the more you're addicted. LOL!**

**Oh, and they're like that little rhyme about beans...**

**"Reviews, reviews, they're good for your heart...**

**... The more you have, the better you feel,**

**So remember to leave reviews at every... er, chapter." Ok, so maybe that didn't work very well... Anyway, you get the point. **


	15. Xavier's Arrival?

**I'm BAAAAAAAACCCCCCK! --sings hallelujah chorus-- Here it is, sorry it took so long... Y'all know the deal. :)

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**Xavier's Arrival**

Sighing at the great feeling of being warmly sun-dried, Lou pulled her shirt on and buttoned it down across her belly's bulge. Everything just felt so much cleaner and lighter now, from the collar of her shirt down to her socks. She was still a little damp in places, her pants had grass stains and her hair was still dripping water down her back and across her shoulders, but that was alright.

"Lou, can't we at least settle on naming the baby Xavier Jesse or something like that?" About five feet away, Bo was sliding his shirt onto his shoulders, leaving it open at the moment so he could pull on his boots.

"Oh, I don't know," Lou replied, smiling. "I was really—"

An odd pain in her stomach stopped her. Frowning, she stopped mid-sentence.

Then for a moment, it relaxed.

The next time the pain hit, it was sharper. Reflexively, her hand went to the source of the pain and she doubled over as far as Xavier allowed.

Staring at his shoes, Bo didn't notice. But when Lou grunted, he slowly looked up.

"Lou?" he asked.

Sharper again, the pain came back.

"Oh, God," she bit out through clenched teeth as she realized what it had to be. "Oh, God, _no_."

"Lou," Bo repeated, cautiously walking towards her. "What is it?"

"You idiot, I'm almost nine months pregnant, and having abdominal pains." The stare she turned at him was strong enough that if it had been a laser, it would've melted him. "What do you think it is?"

"Oh my…" Bo breathed as his eyes went wide.

Hurrying before the next pain started, Lou ran around to the passenger's side of the General Lee and got in with severe difficulty. Bo was much quicker getting into the driver's seat.

"Get to the hospital!" Lou shouted.

Bo wasted no time getting going, speeding out onto the road in an instant. For once, Lou was glad that her baby's father was a speed-demon and former NASCAR racer. It just might save her and their son a lot of pain.

"Dangit, son, couldn't you have waited at least two days?" she groaned at her belly. "By then me and your Pa would've been married!"

Another pain started boiling through her, causing her to groan in agony.

"Lou," Bo said frantically, "just hold on. Just hold on!"

"Don't you tell me to hold on!" she shot back. "I'm having a baby here, Bo!" A thought occurred to her after the pain ended. "Call Jo and your family and have them get to the hospital. I need them there for this."

Shaky with adrenaline, Bo fumbled around for the CB and grabbed the pickup. "Th-this is Lost Sheep Number 2 calling Shepherd, Bo Peep, Lost Sheep Number 1 and Jo. You got your ears on? Come on back." It was plain for Lou to see that he was too worried to remember Jo's recently given CB handle.

However Lou's mind was oddly clear enough to remember that Jo was newly dubbed Little Miss Muffet and that she herself was now Mother Goose.

A moment of strained silence followed, and just as fidgety Bo was about to repeat his call, Daisy's voice came from the speaker.

"This is Bo Peep," she replied sweetly. "The gang's all here with me. What's up, Lost Sheep?"

"Well, Mother Goose is here with me," he said quickly, "and I think she's about to lay her egg!"

"Oh, no! Is she alright?"

As Bo went to reply, Lou failed to stifle a shriek that the pain caused, giving evidence to her family about just how she was doing at the moment.

"We're on our way to the hospital now," Bo added. "Meet us there."

"We're gone," Daisy assured.

"Uhhh," Lou moaned, "how far out are we?"

"Not very. Not very," Bo reassured her. "Just hold on, Lou. I know you're trying, but we have to make it to the hospital."

"'Cause you mid-wifing this baby in the middle of nowhere would be disaster," she agreed. "Oh, Xavier!"

As another pain hit, she wondered just when her water would break, and why it hadn't already.

-+-+-+-

Bo was in a major panic mode. His fiancée was right beside him, having a baby!

But it looked to him like they'd make it to the hospital in time. Good. Disaster waited for them if they didn't make it in time. Disaster for Lou, disaster for the baby, and disaster second-hand for Bo…

But not a minute from their destination, Bo heard a familiar wailing siren behind him, demanding he stop. A glance into the mirror confirmed that Rosco P. Coltrane's squad car was on his trail.

_Oh, not now!_ Bo silently pleaded. _Rosco, not now, not now!_

"Lou, we've got company."

Weary and worried gray eyes looked up into the mirror, also catching sight of the police car. "Just keep going," she replied gaspingly. "Let him tail us the whole way if he wants, just keep going."

Bo tried to wave to Rosco that he couldn't stop, but the idiotic lawman kept right on following.

When he skidded to a stop in front of the hospital, Bo was relieved to see Uncle Jesse's white pickup and Daisy's Jeep already sitting there. He sprang out of the car and dashed like crazy over to Lou's side.

Hooking his arms under hers, he dragged her out the window with her help, sliding her feet to the ground.

She was still gasping with the pain when Daisy and Jo came running over, helping Lou along. Luke and Uncle Jesse helped her along the way and Bo followed.

But it wasn't going to go that smoothly—not in Hazzard County.

The sheriff's car squeaked to a halt as the Duke family helped Lou along her first steps toward the hospital. Before they'd even gotten halfway to the door, Rosco was out and shouting.

"Freeze, Bo Duke!" he exclaimed.

Bo ignored him, still hurrying along with his family.

But when Rosco grabbed him by the upper arms from behind, he had no chance but to stop.

"Bo Duke, you're under arrest," the sheriff exclaimed. "For speeding, and having four outstanding speeding tickets. You'll have to come with me."

"But my fiancée's having a baby!" Bo strongly protested, gesturing to his still hurrying family, almost to the door. "Rosco, my son's about to be born!"

"Oh, tiddly-tuddly," the sheriff dismissed, dragging Bo along. "Just come with me." A handcuff slapped onto one of Bo's wrist, then the other. "You have the right to remain silent and all."

No matter how he tried, he couldn't get out of Rosco's grip as the lawman dragged him towards the police car's back seat.

"Lou!" he cried.

By then, Lou, Jo, Daisy and Uncle Jesse were going through the hospital door, Luke having stopped to watch the commotion with Rosco and Bo. Relief spilled into Bo that Lou was going to make it in the hands of capable doctors and nurses, but his anger, worry and frustration about not being able to be there when it happened dominated.

As Bo was forced into the back seat of the cop car, he saw the promise on Luke's face. A promise that he would do whatever possible to help Bo be there to see his son born.

And as he was forced behind bars, beating his fists angrily against them, there was only one thing Bo could say. "Lou!"

* * *

**Cliffie! HAHAHA! Hope it inspires y'all to review... -wink, wink- **


	16. Break

**Y'all ready for a jailbreak? ;)

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**

**Break**

So, which plan to go with?

Luke knew a thousand plans that could help him spring Bo quickly from the jailhouse and get him to the hospital to see his son born, but which one would pull the wool over Rosco, Enos and probably Boss Hogg's eyes best? All of the plans that came to mind had been used once or twice before, and all had its little kinks.

And finally, he set his mind on a plan.

A simple one, no shucking and jiving, no lying.

Yes, it wasn't as fun that way, but it got the job done quickly, and speed was definitely the key in this case.

And so he got out of the General Lee—which he'd driven over from the hospital—took a deep breath and walked into the jailhouse.

Bo was pacing restlessly and angrily inside his cell, in front of Rosco, who was happily wringing his hat, obviously glad with his arrest. Enos was standing off to the side, noticeably less excited.

And also approving of Rosco's catch was fat, grinning Boss Hogg.

"Boss, Rosco," Luke called, catching everyone's attention.

Expectantly, Bo gripped the bars of his cell until his knuckles turned white, staring intently at his cousin.

"Why, Luke Duke," Boss said, turning around and feigning surprise. "What are _you_ doing here?"

Angrily, Luke felt his lip twitch slightly. "You know, Boss."

"Oh, you've come to post bail?" The thought of money already had Boss smiling and Luke could practically see the dollar signs in his eyes.

"No," Luke replied. "But just curious, how much is it?"

"Three hundred simolians," the fat commissioner responded.

_Violation of eighth amendment rights!_ Luke wanted to shout. Didn't that bit of the Bill of Rights state that bail couldn't be excessive and must remain in accordance with the degree of the crime?

But he knew the declaration would get him nowhere fast with Boss Hogg.

But there was still one possible way around this. "Boss, do you know Bo's fiancée is at Hazzard Hospital right now, in labor to have their son?"

"Isn't the baby already born?" Rosco asked.

"No, that's just a rumor," Bo denied vehemently.

"Oh, is she now?" Boss asked, obviously ignoring Bo and Rosco.

"Yes, please, Boss, let me go see my son be born," Bo begged.

The pleading was wasted on Hogg—which the Dukes should've known or anyone, really, judging the fact he had no children of his own. "Waiting here, waiting in the hospital, waiting is waiting, Bo Duke."

"Boss!" he protested strongly.

While Rosco seemed only the slightest bit sympathetic with a slightly softer look to his face than Boss's, his deputy shrank back into the corner quietly. Both Dukes strongly suspected kind and generous Enos was on their side, despite everything else.

"Pay the bail, or leave," the round Boss Hogg said to Luke.

"I'll gladly leave," the Duke replied. "With Bo, that is."

While Luke ran towards Bo's cell and the keys hanging on the wall feet away, he kicked a desk chair out towards Boss and Rosco, toppling them both. As one hand grabbed hold of the keys, the other reached out and pulled Enos' hat down over his face.

In seconds, the door to Bo's cell was open and the younger Duke cousin was dashing out. Bo paused for a minute to shove Rosco and Boss into the cell and fling the door closed.

And it seemed to Luke as he ran out the door that it was taking Enos longer than it should have to get his hat back right.

-+-+-+-

_Oh, please, Lou, tell me you held on long enough…_

Bo was running as hard as he could down the hospital corridors to find where Lou was… hoping against everything that Xavier hadn't yet come into the world. Luke was behind him somewhere, but being powered by adrenaline, Bo had left him far behind.

He had to pause at a desk to ask where Lou was, panting around his question. "Where's Betty-Lou Johnson?"

The nurse gestured. "Up the hall here, room 216," she said. "And sir, I have to tell you—"

"Thank you!" Bo interrupted, not waiting to hear more. He ran on down the corridor, skidding to a stop outside the open door that read 216…

And he stopped, right there.

Lou was lying on the bed inside calmly, albeit wearily. Covered by the thin blankets of the hospital bed, the bulge of her belly was still obvious. Her head, with still wet hair from the swim about an hour ago, was leaned back against the pillow, turning towards him as he slid to a stop.

"Bo!" The purple half-circles beneath her eyes were painfully obvious as her gray eyes widened in surprise.

"Lou," he breathed in return, hurrying to her bedside and taking her hand. "Please tell me our son hasn't been born yet. Please." His grip on her hand tightened expectantly.

"No, he hasn't."

Bo's eyes scanned the room, but he saw no one else. "Well then, where are the doctors? What…?"

"I wasn't in labor after all," she replied tiredly.

The shock took a minute to sink in and Bo's forehead wrinkled. "What was going on then?" he asked.

She smiled weakly. "Severe indigestion due to some kind of severe allergy to something I ate. Probably wasn't such a good idea for me to go swimming right after lunch huh?"

"But you look so tired…"

"They had to pump my stomach on top of all of that. Not comfy."

"Oh." He realized he was still clutching her hand, and softened his grip. "So, are you alright, Lou?"

"Yeah," she answered tentatively. "I'm alright. I'll be fine."

"Well, you sure gave me a scare."

Sighing, Lou turned her gaze from Bo's face to the ceiling above. "You gave me a scare too. Where the heck were you?"

That's right… Lou had been far too occupied to notice Bo being arrested…

"Rosco managed to catch me before I got into the hospital," he explained. "And he threw me in jail. Luke busted me out."

"He kept you in jail even after you told him your son was about to be born?"

"Yeah. Boss kept me in there under a big bit of bail too."

Jaw tightened, Lou shook her head. "Cold-hearted jackass. That's just what Hogg is. Penny-pinching, selfish little pig. And let's not forget his little idiot follower Rosco." When Lou turned her gaze back to Bo's face, he read pure fiery fury in her eyes, not the least tampered by the tired bags beneath them. "And I'm gonna tell Boss just what I think of him too. He could've made you miss the birth of your firstborn son!"

Bo chuckled lightly. "I agree, darlin', but telling Boss all of that's not going to make much of a difference. And besides, I didn't miss the baby's birth. It's alright."

"No, it's not. I know things turned out alright, but it's just the principle of the whole thing. You almost missed it…"

"I know, Lou, I know." Unconsciously, Bo's fingers began to gently caress Lou's palm. "And I wouldn't be able to live with myself or ever forgive Boss for getting in the way if I really _had_ missed it."

"Good." Quietly, she added, "I never would've forgiven you either."

Bo sighed. "Well, our wedding is the day after tomorrow. Wouldn't do to have us angry at each other, would it?"

"No, wouldn't do at all." Lou sighed. "So I guess that it's a blessing from God that it wasn't Xavier on the way. I never thought I'd be so happy to be allergic to something."

-+-+-+-

Jo was sitting in a waiting room outside of Lou's hospital room when Bo went running past. So he was about to find out from Lou herself that the baby wasn't here yet… With a sigh, Jo pushed herself up out of her chair to follow.

That's when Luke came hurrying down the hallway.

"Jo," he huffed, apparently out of breath. "What's going on?"

Smiling lightly at her fiancée, Jo stopped. "Lou had some kind of allergic reaction to something she ate," she replied. "She wasn't in labor after all."

Blowing out a sigh of relief, Luke said, "Well, that's good I guess."

"Yeah," Jo agreed.

"So she'll probably wind up having the baby after the wedding. Well, that's a relief. Then Xavier can meet his _married_ mom and dad."

Nodding, Jo sat herself back down in the chair she'd just recently vacated. "Where were _you_?" _I've been wondering this whole time._

"Breaking Bo out of jail so he could be here," Luke replied, taking a chair beside Jo. "Rosco got him for speeding and outstanding tickets."

"Oh."

_The agonies of being back in Hazzard_, Jo reflected quietly. _Corrupt lawmen and hectic situations. Well, get used to it Bobbie-Jo. You're probably gonna live out the rest of your days in Hazzard County with Luke Duke and a yard full of kids. _It was then that she really realized how quickly that life was coming up on her… Two days and then she'd be bound to Luke forever.

* * *

**Well, nobody get excited... Boss and Rosco aren't done with the Dukes yet, and Lou's not just talking about telling Boss off to be talking...**

**I dunno when the next chapter will be up... I have school to go back to very soon. And I have mid-terms in 3 of my 6 subjects... -sigh- The horrors of high-school!**


	17. Jailbirds

**Sorry this took so long... too much school, not enough free time.

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**

**Jailbirds**

Blowing out her breath in a huff, Lou stood uneasily with Jo gripping one of her hands and Daisy the other. She felt like she was about to topple over forward, having sat with her enormous weight balanced in her hospital bed for the past two hours. And on top of that, she wasn't feeling terribly great after the whole having her stomach pumped thing.

But she got her balance and walked slowly, happy to be moving.

At least little bouncing Xavier had finally stopped his crazy kicking fits.

"You alright, Betty-Lou?" Uncle Jesse asked from the doorway.

"Yes, sir," she answered, walking a little quicker to prove her point. "Let's go home."

With each step that carried her further and further down the corridor, she felt better and better. Each step got easier, and before she was even halfway down the first hallway towards the door, she shook off her guides.

The whole Duke clan—including the two not-yet-official members—made their way out of the hospital. They didn't even make it to their parked vehicles before a police car skidded to a stop in front of them, tires screeching loudly.

"Oh, no," Luke muttered.

But fat little Boss Hogg and his faithful follower were already bounding out of the car.

The Dukes didn't run, but sort of stood prouder and taller, standing a tad closer together for support.

"Well, hello, J. D.," Uncle Jesse said kindly. "What brings you out this way?"

"Have an appointment at the hospital, Boss?" Luke joked.

_Oh, yes let's all act like we don't know why he's here_, Lou thought sarcastically, fighting not to roll her eyes. _Then maybe the little pesky pig'll go away for good. I can only dream!_

"No," Boss retorted. "You know why I'm here."

"Oh?" Daisy asked. "And why's that?"

_Because he's an annoying, persistent little jackass._ Lou had to strain to keep her mouth shut, flattening her lips and gritting her teeth. She could just feel the itch to tell Boss Hogg just what she thought he was… And she didn't know how much longer she could resist the slowly building urge…

"To have these two boys arrested!" the fat man replied. "Rosco!" He gestured his loyal shadowing lawman forward.

"Bo Duke, you're under arrest for outstanding tickets and a jailbreak," Rosco said. "Luke Duke you're under arrest for aiding in the jailbreak of a criminal."

"Criminal?" Bo cried incredulously.

"Rosco, you know my boys ain't criminal!" Uncle Jesse added. "They're just good ol' country boys!"

"Oh, they ain't?" Boss input sarcastically, waving his cigar as he spoke. "They broke several laws. And that don't make them criminal?"

Lou couldn't keep completely quiet anymore. "No, it don't!" she said. "Especially when the speeding tickets that caused this all are probably not even fair to begin with. Hey, now that I think about it, since when has anything in J. D. Hogg's county ever been fair or legal anyway, you old polecat?" Her fists planted squarely on her hips as she pointedly glared at Boss.

"Who are you to be accusing?"

"Betty-Lou Johnson, that's who!" Lou shouted in the little man's face.

"Are you calling me dishonest?" The look on Boss Hogg's face was pure false innocence that couldn't have fooled anyone that had known the man for at least two seconds.

"Well, Boss—" Rosco started simply, cocking his head.

"Sssh!" said Boss quickly, gesturing with his hands for Rosco to shut it.

"As a matter of fact, I am," Lou grunted in reply to the original question. "I'm calling you flat-out illegal and so very, very dishonestly unfair!"

With her sister, fiancée and soon-to-be in-law's standing by watching with half-horror at what Lou was doing, half-relief that someone had finally said it to Boss's face, Lou should've been worried about their reactions—and about consequences. But she wasn't. She wasn't worried about what would come of this because she was just wrapped up in getting it _out_.

"In fact, I'm willing to bet that every single dishonest money-making scheme from here to Atlanta bears the mark of your little fat hand, Hogg!"

Betty-Lou Johnson was in no way a tall woman, but she had at least a few inches on Boss Hogg, and now in her fury, she had increased them severely.

And Boss stood looking as if he'd been slapped, but his cover never fell. "Well, I never saw such a nasty little lady so willing to make such horrible accusations!"

"Accusations!" Lou cried. "They're as every bit real as the ground we stand on!" She scoffed loudly. "You're so wrapped up in getting your hands on money and keeping the honest Dukes out of your _dis_honest business that you threw Bo in jail when his son was about to be born!"

Boss's eyes looked to Lou's bulky stomach. "Aren't you the one who's gonna have his baby? You still look mighty pregnant to me."

"I am!" Lou retorted. "But that's not the point, jackassin' polecat!"

Now Boss appeared really stung, and gasped in shock—with Rosco doing the same thing, of course.

_Oh, quit the acting you little…_ Lou thought, teeth gritting angrily. _You had better just quit it right now before I—_

-+-+-+-

As the barred door swung shut in front of Lou's face, she gripped the bars until her knuckles turned white. "Putting me in a jail cell won't change my mind and it won't shut me up!" she insisted, yelling across the room as Boss and Rosco disappeared out of the room. "I know whatcha are and I'll keep declaring it until—"

"LOU!" Bo shouted from the cell next to hers. "Just shut-up!"

She spun to face him, letting go of the bars on the front of the cell to grab the ones between her cell and the one Bo currently shared with his cousin Luke. "Don't you be telling me to shut-up, Bo Duke!"

In response, Bo whirled around to face her, angrily staring down as he too gripped at the bars, looking as if he wanted to just rip them open. "You just won't quit, will you?"

"Boss needed to be told off, and you know it!"

"Oh, yes, we all know that calling Boss a jackass got you so far."

If at all possible, Lou's hands gripped the bars tighter, shaking with the fury she was putting into it. "At least I have the courage to tell him what I think!"

"Oh, no you just—"

"Hey!" Luke interrupted. "You guys just stop your fighting! Nothing you yell at each other is gonna make anything different, and it isn't gonna shut the other one up."

Almost instantly, the one thing that would probably shut Bo up popped into Lou's head, and she immediately decided to use it. Let her prove Luke Duke wrong right here and now.

"Bo Duke, I love you!" she shouted.

Both men looked at her with shocked looks on their face, then exchanged a glance as they opened and closed their mouths again and again like fish. Speechless. Both of them, for the first time since Lou had met them. Bo and Luke Duke, both speechless.

_Alert the media, it's a worldwide phenomenon!_

"You two fish have such a way with words, you know." Laughing, Lou sat herself down on her cell's little cot. The way she sat, she still stared at the two Dukes floundering for words, so very amused by their shock.

Bo finally, found his voice. "L-Lou? Did you really just say what I think you said?"

Throwing back her head, Lou laughed long and hard. "Yes, I did. But don't get your hopes up, buddy-boy. I was just looking for a way to prove you and your cousin wrong."

Both Dukes scoffed.

"Tease," Bo whispered out of Lou's range of hearing, dropping onto his own little cot.

"Lou, that was mean," Luke informed her matter-of-factly, staring at her with solemn blue eyes. "Just downright mean."

Rolling her eyes, she flipped her legs up onto the cot and laid down, curling her arm under her head (with _still _wet hair) in a mimic of a pillow. It was getting rather late…. "Well, don't mess with me then," she muttered. "I ain't exactly in a good mood. In a _mean_ mood, I guess. 'Night from the big ol' meanie over here." And she closed her eyes to dream about a time where she might actually mean what she'd said.

-+-+-+-

"Bo, you alright?" Luke asked after it looked as though Lou had drifted off to sleep.

"Yes, I'm fine."

For a moment, Luke studied his cousin's face. "Well, you know it was wrong of Lou to say that. That was really mean."

"I'm fine, Luke. Drop it."

"Fine." Throwing up his hands in defeat, Luke leaned against the wall. Folding against his arms across his chest, he shook his head. "Whatever you say, Bo. Whatever you say."

* * *

**More to come soon, hopefully... **


	18. Glimpse of the Future

**I planned on updating last night, but I ran out of time and energy... Unfortunately, we all have to sleep...**

**Now continuing on the "Aw, poor Bo" note...

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**Glimpse of the Future**

Why in on God's green earth was that little crazy woman the only thing that could do this to him? What gave her the right to be so irritating and under his skin? No, what _possessed_ her to continuously make it her_ job_ to do that?

Bo just couldn't for the life of him understand Lou. He didn't get how she did what she did or _why_. The way she treated him just… didn't make sense.

_And then she says she loves me, and I just about go crazy_, he thought to himself, staring at the back of his eyelids. And that of all things worried Bo. Not to mention that the way he'd reacted worried him.

With every bit of breath in his body right now, he would deny that he loved Betty-Lou Johnson, and could probably truthfully say that he'd never really and truly loved her. But when he heard the words out of her mouth, not knowing how insincere they were at the moment, his heart had leapt into his throat and he could feel… butterflies.

And he'd been unable to say anything back.

Was that a glimpse of the future?

Did that stray little fact by itself tell him that even if he did actually—by some strange twist of fate—come to love Lou in future years, she'd never be able to know because he couldn't express it?

_Oh, don't get ahead of yourself_, Bo warned himself, rolling over with difficulty on his little cot. _If that ever happens, then you can worry about it. But now—and maybe forever—you don't love Lou, don't think Lou loves you, don't worry about it._

But somehow, no matter how he tried, the little fear in the back of his head wouldn't go away. And that little nagging voice just irritated him and worried him.

The fact that it wasn't going away told him that it was more than he tried to diminish it as. Could he really—

_No!_ he practically yelled at himself mentally. _You don't love Lou, she don't love you. Go to sleep!_

But the minute he started really trying to drift off to sleep, Bo heard Luke's voice broke in with questions.

"Hey, Bo, why's Lou's hair wet?"

Opening his eyes, Bo's mind already started racing to ways around telling the somewhat embarrassing truth on this one… And as he thought, he stared at Lou's not-quite-dripping, thick tresses, splayed across her crooked arm/pillow.

"Uh, she went for a swim," he admitted slowly. That much wouldn't hurt… just skirt the other specific details of the whole endeavor. "At Hazzard Pond."

"Ah," Luke replied. "So that's where you two were when she started with that whole scare?"

"What makes you think I went swimming too?"

Luke raised a dark eyebrow at his younger cousin. "The fact you two showed up at the hospital together says you were off somewhere together. And if you weren't swimming at the Pond, what were you doing there?"

"Uh…"

"Just what I thought."

"Luke, don't read anything into it," Bo insisted. "We swam a little. End of story. Nothing special."

Again, a dark eyebrow arched over Luke's bright blue eyes. "Well, 'much as you're gonna say otherwise, I'd say that skinny-dipping is a pretty _special_ deal, Bo."

"Skinny-dipping!" Immediately bolting upright at his cousin's suggestion, Bo's eyes went so wide they felt like they'd pop. "Did you say _skinny-dipping_!"

Luke's cool look broke as he unfolded his arms and stood a little away from the wall. "Yes, I did. Don't think I don't know what you were doing, Bo. You—"

"We weren't skinny-dipping!" Bo immediately protested. "We were clothed, thank you very much! Not fully clothed, but clothed!" Realizing that he was endangering Lou's sleep with the volume of his voice—something that would probably incur a nasty couple of remarks—Bo quieted a little, but still spoke forcefully to Luke. "What in the world gave you the idea we were skinny-dipping?"

"Well, I just assumed—" Bo could tell by Luke's small gestures that he really had blindly and shamelessly supposed, not laying blame.

"Yeah, do me a favor and stop assuming about me and Lou, okay? I'm tired of people doing that. We are what we look like we are—which is _not_ in love, quite the opposite—and we did not go skinny-dipping!"

"Ok, fine, Bo, fine!" Luke quickly said, gesturing for calm. "Just settle down." Turning away and sinking to the floor, his voice dropped. "Just go on denying everything. It'll catch you sooner or later…"

Luckily, Bo didn't hear him.

-+-+-+-

"Get up, Jailbirds!"

It took a minute of sleepy concentrating, but Luke recognized the voice as Lou's rousing him to consciousness from the neighboring cell. When he groggily blinked his eyes and looked, she was standing gripping the bars with one hand and getting ready to throw what looked like a shoe with the other.

"Finally you get up!" she said, dropping the shoe back to the floor and scooting her foot into it. "Get Bo up—our salvation is here."

Luke didn't really understand what she was saying, but he reached out to obey… It had to be sometime early in the morning but cooped up the way he was, Luke couldn't be sure. With a dully aching arms, he reached out and shook his cousin on the thin cot.

Waking up slowly and with difficulty, Bo blinked sleepily and yawned.

Mission accomplished, Luke yawned himself and stood…

He'd slept against the wall, releasing the cot to Bo. The position hadn't exactly been comfortable, sitting on a hard concrete floor with his back leaning against the brick wall. To boot, it definitely was not paying off now either. He was stiff and hurting when he got to his feet, trying in vain to stretch the aches away.

"What's this 'salvation,' Lou?" he asked.

"A little package I call sister, you call fiancée and we all call the wonderful Bobbie-Jo," Lou replied, pointing.

Looking where Lou indicated, Luke finally noticed Jo walking down the hallway in easy conversation with Enos, who held the keys in his hand. The site made Luke smile, knowing that while he had nothing to fear, he wished his conversation with Jo could always be that easy… without her shrinking away like she tended to do.

"I'll have to give you the recipe sometime, Sheriff," Jo said, laughing lightly.

It was then that Luke noticed that Rosco held a small slice of cake in one hand, and was pinching pieces off and popping them in his mouth. He smiled sweetly at little Jo, who returned the smile.

"Well, thank you."

Gently gripping the bars on the front of her cell, Lou smiled lightly at Rosco and Jo as they walked towards the cells. Bo frowned and Luke tried his hardest to keep from laughing.

Imagine that, little silent Jo was playing Rosco nice and easy, like a fine-tune fiddle, even!

And still smiling and laughing with Jo, Rosco unlocked the doors to both Lou and the Duke boys' cells. That got frowns from both of the Dukes, but smiling Lou obviously got whatever it was that her sister was doing and just silently walked out of the cell.

"Rosco, what're you doing?" Luke asked.

"Well, this little lady here has paid your bail," the sheriff replied. "You're all free to go."

Frowning, the Dukes slowly slipped out of their cell, joining Lou and Jo.

They all made their way back out the door of the jailhouse, Rosco calling a friendly goodbye to Jo as they left. The minute they were outside and away from prying ears, Bo and Luke—and even Lou—started bursting with questions.

"Did you really pay our bail, Jo?" Luke asked first.

"Yes," she replied curtly.

"Where did you get the money, sis?" Lou inquired next. "I _know_ the bail Boss Hogg was asking couldn't have been cheap—and we have no money."

"You're right, it wasn't and we don't," Jo replied, smiling. "But they say the way to a man's heart is through his stomach, and it seems that's just the way to Boss's! I paid your bail in cake and cookies. Even gave Rosco some to keep his nose outta our business."

"And it worked that easy?" Bo asked.

Still smiling at her success, Jo nodded.

Laughing, Luke clapped his fiancée on the back. "Jo, you're a genius. Let's hope the next time we get caught isn't any time soon, but at least now you know how to get us out of it!"

_Next time…_ Luke thought a little tightly. That's right, from now on Jo would probably be the one to bail him out of jail… Considering that after tomorrow, she'd be his wife.

* * *

**Can'tcha hear the wedding bells ringing all the way from here? Well, get ready, next chapter is a wedding! And everybody knows that in Hazzard, nothing ever goes like it's planned!**


	19. White Dresses and Wedding Bells

**Yay. New chapter is finally here... I've been slaving away over this one here. And as a special treat to all, it's extra long! This one's about 3,500 words whereas previous ones were in the area of 1,000-1,500.**

**And now the wedding you've all been waiting for...

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**White Dresses and Wedding Bells**

The dress was… beautiful, simple, perfect, glorious, special, lovable, totally her… And to be brief, Jo completely and utterly loved it. It was hers to wear now and to treasure for the rest of her life. And she couldn't have asked for a more perfect dress.

She loved every stitch that sweet Daisy had sown as though she'd sown it herself.

And Jo found herself smiling again at the mirror as her eyes roamed up and down.

It started with a frilly, see-through lace collar and neckline that turned into the solid, shimmering white main part fairly high on her chest. Jo liked it to be modest in the chest area and cover her up well. It was sleeveless given the Georgia heat on this late August day, ending on her shoulders with more sheer lace. Tightening to her body just above the topmost bulge of her belly, it flared out again because of Yvonne. The "poof" of the bottom half wasn't really very wide, but it sat fairly straightly on down from the stomach to where it ended in a few more frills brushing against the floor. She didn't try and hide Yvonne's existence with the dress, but actually accentuated it a bit more.

And it was all white.

Jo knew she didn't really deserve to wear white, and that by all means she shouldn't be, but she couldn't bring herself to wear even an off-whitish beige gown.

"So, do you like it?"

Broken out of her reverie, Jo turned to Daisy, who was wearing her green bridesmaid dress, with a smile. "Yes, I love every bit of it. Thank you. I wish I could've done more to help with it, actually. Curse my inability to sew anything!"

"Oh, you're welcome," Daisy replied, returning the smile. "You'll pick up the sewing talent in time, honey. And you're sure there's not one bit of the dress you don't like? It can't be that perfect."

"But it is!" Jo insisted, turning back to the mirror. "But I can't help but think…"

Jo couldn't finish the sentence. She couldn't say to the woman who'd sewn the gown out of love and kindness that she didn't like the idea of the white now.

"What?" Daisy prompted anyway. "You can't help but think what?"

Frowning at her reflection, Jo rubbed a bit of the lace on her shoulders between her thumb and forefinger. "I can't help but think I don't deserve to wear white."

"Why not?" The frown on Daisy's face was more questioning than the thoughtful one on Jo's.

"Well, I'm not a virgin, and the whole world knows that. Otherwise I couldn't be toting Yvonne around. I don't deserve to wear the white because of that. And I feel… dirty because I'm doing it anyway."

Daisy took Jo's shoulders reassuringly. "Oh, that's not true. Don't feel dirty. You're just as clean as the rest of us. You can't help that you got pregnant because of it. And so you deserve to wear the white as much as any other girl, Jo Johnson."

Smiling at her soon-to-be "in-law," Jo smiled. "Thank you, Daisy."

"You're welcome."

The sweet silence that ensued spoke to Jo about a gentle almost sister-like relationship that could come to be in future years between herself and Daisy. She could be the calm sister Jo had always lacked in Lou…

"Hey! Can somebody help me here!"

_Speak—or _think_—of the devil!_ Jo thought, whirling towards Lou.

"What the heck is it now?" she demanded.

"I can't reach the zipper!" Lou huffed in reply, demonstrating by stretching her arm around towards her back. It didn't even come close to reaching the zipper that was sitting midway up her back, halfway to its destination at the space in between her shoulder blades. "Somebody help!"

Rolling her eyes, Jo reached out and pulled the zipper up. "There you go, big baby. You're all zipped up."

Turning her head to glance at her back, Lou nodded, smiling. "Thank you." She turned back to survey herself in the mirror. "So, how do I look, girls?"

Jo took in the sight of Lou's dress and her sister's tight, almost forced smile.

The neck of the dress was definitely more revealing than that of Jo's gown, dipping down low in a V-like shape to accentuate the fact that the pregnancy had increased Lou's bust. Along the swooping neckline was a line of sequins that glittered when Lou moved. It was sleeveless like Jo's, but unlike hers, Lou's didn't flaunt one scrap of lace. And also unlike Jo's, it _did_ try and hide the bulge of her stomach, flaring out above it and continuing its slant all the way to the floor. And that it did pretty darn well.

All in all, it made Lou look like a princess.

And Jo said as much to her sister. "But it does dip a little low, Lou."

Smiling slyly, Lou traced a finger along the neckline. "Oh, come on. Don't you know the guys like it that way?"

"Yes, I know they like it that way, but that doesn't mean _you_ have to be that way."

"I say why not 'centuate and flaunt the positive while it's there?" Lou argued. "I'll go back down a cup size in a couple of months, just as soon as I lose all of the extra belly-fat. So now's my only chance to show off the fact that I actually have a bust."

Rolling her eyes, Jo gave up the argument.

Today was her wedding day, and she wouldn't waste her last few moments as a bachlorette arguing with Lou when she should be thinking about the road of life ahead. Because after this step here, there wasn't going to be any going back for her.

-+-+-+-

There weren't many people sitting in the pews of the little Baptist church, waiting for the wedding to begin. It wasn't a big affair at all, with probably only twenty people in attendance.

Somehow, Luke had always thought that his wedding would be bigger.

But with Jo, small and private was to be expected. And then with her and Lou's pregnancies, small was also desirable.

Other things weren't like he pictured them either.

The only flowers sitting around the church were the normal arrangements sitting in the tall, stained-glass window's sills. There was no real special decoration about the place, but as the whole wedding had been planned so quickly, there'd been no time…

Before her problematic return, Luke had never expected that Bobbie-Jo Johnson was to be his bride.

Before, Luke had never really planned to have a double-wedding with his cousin Bo.

But Bo was fidgeting nervously beside him, obviously apprehensive about the ceremony. Luke himself wasn't without his worries, but it was worse for Bo, who had adamantly and avidly proclaimed that his bride wasn't his love and never would be.

_At least Jo and me can tolerate each other_, Luke thought, subconsciously smoothing his tie. _Even if she won't admit love, she will, given time. She's just being Jo and holding it under consideration._

_Or so you hope._

Sighing, Luke wished the whole thing would go ahead and start. The more time that they waited around back here, the more worried he became. Things would just get worse too, and if they didn't start_ soon_, Luke would probably go back on thinking he loved Jo in the first place.

"Boys, are you ready?" Uncle Jesse asked walking over from the steps of the preacher's platform to where Bo and Luke stood waiting around the side.

Luke's reply was quick and anxious. "Yes, sir."

Expectantly, Uncle Jesse's gaze then turned to Bo, who first gulped loudly, then nodded.

"Yes, sir," he said quietly.

Obviously ignoring Bo's apprehension, Uncle Jesse nodded too. "Then we'll get it started now." He signaled to the woman sitting ready at the organ across the church.

_Oh, Jo…_ Luke thought as the music started to play._ I can't wait to see what you look like… Beautiful, I'm guessing. Like the angel you are… _True to tradition, he hadn't gotten to see the dress by itself, or on Jo. Daisy had guarded the thing with her life, even stowing it away in some secret place at night.

The organ began to play and with a sigh, the grooms took their place at the front of the church, waiting for their brides to walk down the aisle.

-+-+-+-

Lou was nervous. More nervous than she'd planned on being, more nervous than she wanted to be, more nervous than she had any right to be.

She stood ready in the back of the church, as the sole bridesmaid, Daisy, had already found her way down the aisle to wait in the front with rings in hand. Lou was cut off from her groom and the people waiting to watch by a pair of wide wooden doors. She could hear the music playing on the other side as she stood stiffly with her small bouquet clutched in anxious hands and her sister equally gripping a similar arrangement of flowers beside her.

They could hear the music sweeping onward in its classic melody, and the pastor's words echoing through the small church. "Please rise."

"This is it…" Lou muttered quietly to Jo, her breath catching in her chest in anxious anticipation…

And the doors in front of the two sisters swung wide open.

Through the white tint of her veil, Lou's eyes took in all that stood before her.

Stretching along in front of her was her intended path, the long aisle of the Hazzard Baptist Church with its pale blue carpet and matching pews flanking the walkway on either side. Lou noticed with only mild interest that only the two front-most pews were occupied with people dressed in their finest clothes, bathed in colored light from the high, stained glass windows standing at regular intervals along the walls.

She could've sworn people gasped at the sight of her—or maybe the sight of her _and_ Jo—but she wasn't exactly in a position to know.

She did know for sure that standing at the end of the aisle, facing her in patience, Bo's eyes got extremely wide and his eyebrows disappeared under wisps of his blonde curls.

And that made Lou smile as she started down the aisle.

To her left, Jo was still obviously worried, but she kept up with each one of Lou's slow steps with rehearsed grace and ease.

Lou felt like she was floating, and determination and reflex was the only thing that kept her feet moving. Each step was unconscious and just about as involuntary as each breath that now came in and out shakily.

Memories flashed before her eyes as if she were on the brink of death, like people always described when retelling of their brushes with that shadowy abyss.

The first thing she saw was her mother's long departed face… Not the mother she'd known in the last few years before her death, not the one who always came home drunk, raving and ranting. No, the loving mother she'd known as a young, young child. The one who's memory was as precious as gold.

If only her mother could've been here…

_But she's not_, Lou reminded herself. _And neither is Bo's. No mothers._

The next thing she pictured was her father… Not the father hardened and disturbed by the death of his wife, not the father who shouted and yelled all the time and left Lou and Jo to their selves as young as six. No, not the broken man he was now. The man he'd been before the whole slew of problems with her mother, the one who'd held her in his arms and told her fairy tales.

If only he could've been here today to give her away…

But he wasn't, and despite the fact that Norman Johnson was her father, Lou would not want the man in his current state here by any means.

She remembered her dreams as a young girl of her wedding day. Hopelessly optimistic and definitely mushy enough to be a fairy tale in its own right, her fantasy wedding had been… too good to ever really come to pass. She'd pictured her true love waiting for her at the aisle's end as she waltzed down in a remarkable, shimmering gown trailing a train as long as could be with her father at her side to give her away. And Jo's smiling face as the Maid of Honor… and her mother's precious smile from the front pew…

But it was never going to be that way, and Lou had long since given up that dream.

And next, Lou thought about Xavier nestled down in her gut. It was for him that she was going through with this—not for herself, not for Bo Duke. Not for any Duke, except the one who wasn't yet born.

She wondered what her son would look like—who he'd grow up to be.

Whoever he was going to be, Xavier Duke would have fantastic parents. Lou was not about to let herself be the kind of mother her own had been in those last years. She wasn't about to let Bo be the kind of father her own was—never. Not if she could help it. She would die making sure Xavier was loved—by herself and by Bo.

Bo.

Shaking away memories, Lou looked up to the face of her groom.

It was tight with anxiety, but also patient and expectant, waiting for her to finally reach the stage as the organ played.

She'd fallen in love with that face nine months ago, its crazy, walk-on-the-wild side grin, crystal clear blue eyes and Bo's easy nature. She'd fallen out of love with him shortly after, and vowed to herself she wouldn't love him again for the pain he'd caused.

But now, her promise threatened to break itself just by looking at him.

Lou hadn't really noticed, but she and Jo had reached the end of the aisle and Bo and Luke had both stepped aside to let the girls up beside them. Bo's hands took Lou's veil and flipped it back from her face and over the top of her head, unmasking her face.

Then something snapped into place and she pulled herself from her thoughts. She did as she was supposed to, taking one of Bo's hands and walking up the two stairs to stand on the platform. When they'd taken the stairs, both swung to face each other with Luke and Jo mimicking the same moves behind them.

This left Bo and Lou facing, with Jo's back to her sister's while she faced Luke and vice versa. And the preacher off to Lou's right while the stairs and watching audience were now to her left.

"You may be seated. Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today," the pastor intoned stiffly, "to witness…"

Lou wasn't even listening.

She was staring into Bo's clear, bright blue eyes with her own crisp gray ones and trying to keep herself from swooning. It felt to her like one of those cheesy romance movies, except she knew on some level this was for real and she couldn't let herself be taken in.

There was no love to be found in those eyes, she warned herself. She wouldn't fall, because she didn't love him.

His hands gripped hers tightly, and she felt their calluses with her smooth fingertips. She felt the strength in his grip, the tight muscles in his palms…

_Lou, stop it!_ she shouted at herself inside. _Stop, stop, stop! You don't love him. He doesn't love you. You're marrying him for your son's sake, so stop fantasizing! You gave up other fantasies long ago, so give up the one that says you'll marry your prince!_

She blamed it all on the atmosphere. It was a wedding, and was supposed to be romantic. She'd just gotten caught up in the feel and mistook it for actual feelings.

And she blamed it all on the pregnancy hormones. They'd made her a crazy romantic among other things, and she really couldn't trust anything she was feeling, given the fact the hormones were probably encouraging it.

Love that had to be sparked was not love at all.

So to keep her mind away from that, she concentrated on the preacher's flat voice and the words he was saying. By now he'd gotten past the opening statements all the way down to Jo and Luke's vows—somewhat shortened because it had to be repeated for the second couple. And she concentrated like her life depended on it.

-+-+-+-

_Oh, Lord, help me!_

Jo was getting more and more anxious as the time went on and the preacher got closer and closer to the vows… And then the few special phrases that would forever change Jo's life were started…

"Do you, Luke Duke, take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold, in sickness and in health, till death do you part?" the preacher asked.

Unconsciously, Jo tightened her grip on her groom's hands and stared into his eyes as she waited for the words to come from his mouth. His stare was solemn and loving, telling her that he would be loving and true until death.

"I do."

Two simple words, but they meant the world to the speaker and the receiver. The two most magical words in the world. So simple, yet so important...

Jo found it hard to keep her mind on the pastor's words as he continued onward with her vow. "Bobbie Josephine Johnson, do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold, in sickness and in health, till death do you part?"

For a moment, the words stuck in her throat as an odd rush of feelings assaulted her. Panic, peace, love, worry, joy, sorrow… She was stepping onto a road from which there was no turning back: marriage.

Her eyes dropped instantly away from Luke's gaze and she shut them tightly against all of the feelings swelling within her. She could feel the turmoil shifting in her gut and the butterflies of anticipation.

But she had to go through with this in spite of all of that.

And so summoning up courage, she opened her eyes to meet Luke's gaze again, trying desperately to find refuge from this turmoil. She was strong, and she would do this right.

"I…" In that instant, staring into Luke's eyes, she realized just how much she cared for him, and how much he was part of her courage. How much she _loved_ him. And a single tear rolled down from her eye and across her cheek as she finished, "… do."

Her heart was relieved of its worries in that moment, and inwardly she breathed a deep sigh of relief.

Nodding and smiling, the preacher moved onward to the other couple, leaving Jo's line of vision unless she craned her neck. And she wasn't going to dare take her stare away from Luke now… some strange sense of longing welled up and wouldn't let her go.

"Do you, Beaureguard Duke, take this woman…" the pastor continued to drone from behind Jo.

See, you can do it, Jo, she told herself, smiling lightly at Luke. You can do it.

It was then that she became aware of the fact that while her heart had stilled and left its turmoil behind, her stomach was still twisting painfully. And realization struck her like a cold, harsh wave.

It wasn't her stomach that was twisting…

"Oh, God, no," she bit out quietly, hand going to the bulge of her belly.

As the pain grew harsher with its spreading grip, her long fingers curled like animal claws against the smooth white fabric of her dress. With the agony, the muscles in her legs started to bunch and Jo was forced to crouch to accommodate them… leaving her previous posture and catching attention.

Immediately, the pastor stopped reading Bo's vow right in the middle of it, turning a wary glance Jo's way. With the preacher's obvious shift, all other attention in the little church turned to the groaning pregnant woman.

Luke was the first to ask, clutching Jo's hand tightly even as she began to slowly double over around the pain. "Jo? What is it?"

A strangled gasp was the first thing to escape her lips in reply, no matter how she strained to keep it in. "Oh, Luke, I think Yvonne's on her way…" Another groan escaped her mouth through gritted teeth. "Get me to the hospital!"

Luke's eyes went wide and he floundered for words, yet was completely unable to find any.

* * *

**TBC ASAP!**

**Well now, some of you may or may not have been expecting that, but oh, well. Hope I threw enough of you for a loop, and got you all with this marvelous cliffhanger!**

**Oh, yes, and I almost forgot to mention... I'm making a sequel. Well, more than one sequel. I'm turning this into a series thanks to the crazy ideas of my sister, and you can all read the other four "books" in the "_Road of Life_" series shortly. After I'm done with this story (which will be after one more chapter or two, I'm afraid) I have to take a short break to work on a couple other projects, but then will be back with the second book of the series. Promise me you'll all read!  
**


	20. What a Crazy Day!

**Well, here it is: last chapter of the first book, and my goodness, it's crazy and long. Personally, I can't believe that it only took me a little over a month to finish this 34,000 word story! That's fast! Anyway...  
**

**Thanks to anyone WHO _EVER_ reviewed, _special _thanks to those who _constantly_ reviewed, and BIGGEST thanks to those who put the story on their favorites lists.**

**Oh, one last thing before you start reading... Everybody knows that wonderful Toby Keith (now who doesn't love him?) song "As Good As I Once Was," and I personally love it, and I was listening the other day... and in the beginning, he says: "She said 'Hello, my name is Bobbie-Jo, meet my twin sister Betty-Lou'..." Well, isn't that just a weird little coincidence?

* * *

**

**What a Crazy Day**

Somewhere along the line of her life, Lou had picked up the odd habit of biting at her nails in stressful situations. And right now, she was nibbling away as she crouched by her sister's side.

"Who's driving?" Lou demanded of the people huddling around.

"Uncle Jesse's already out starting the truck," Luke urgently replied, crouching on Jo's other side. "Now Jo, we're gonna stand you up and get you out to the truck so we can get up on to the hospital."

With shaky, rasping breaths, Jo nodded tightly. Before her family could even lift her up to her feet again, she curled into a ball again and groaned loudly, voice building towards a shriek that sounded to Lou like sharp nails on a chalkboard.

And for the first time in their lives, Lou heard some rather nasty phrases grating out of Jo's mouth. But what else was the woman going into labor during her _wedding_ to say?

"Jo, just hold on," Lou encouraged urgently. "We're gonna get you to the hospital real quick." She turned her eyes over to Luke and his panicky expression. "Get her up and out to the truck quick. I'll be right behind you."

Standing and moving past Jo, Lou grabbed Bo by the collar of his shirt and pulled his shocked face down close to hers, taking his eyes from Luke and Cooter guiding Jo out of the church down to her own eyes.

"Now then, we're gonna finish our vows, and we're gonna do it now," she growled into his face. "Fast enough to get to the hospital with my sister while she has her baby." Lou knew that her voice was harsh, mean and probably murderous in tone—which she knew Bo didn't deserve—but right now she just didn't have time to care.

She turned simmering gray eyes to the waiting pastor. "Get on with it quickly."

Wide-eyed and nodding like crazy, the man fumbled with his book for a long moment before flipping it open to the right page and stammering as quickly as Lou had ever heard a Southern Baptist minister talk. "Uh… uh… Beaureguard Duke, do you take this woman to-to to be your lawfully w-wedded w-wife to have and to hold, in sickness and in health, t-till death do you part?"

Lou remembered a time about a week ago when she'd argued with Bo about the vows. She wanted to write their own, something new instead of the traditional stuff crammed down their throats at every wedding. Bo, on the other hand, had adamantly defended the tradition and wouldn't condone writing new vows.

Eventually conceding, Lou had realized there wasn't really much she could say in a vow to Bo Duke. Besides, why talk any longer than she had to at the wedding?

Now, she was definitely relieved that the vows were so wonderfully short.

"I…" Bo started, stopping quickly. "I… I…" Unable to get out the second half, he just opened and closed his mouth a few times, frowned and shook his head.

Angrily, Lou tightened her grip at his collar, drawing the fabric taut around his neck. "Out with it, and out with it fast, Bo Duke!" she demanded. "We've got places to be and babies to see born, so get on with it as fast as possible! Out with it, man!"

Gulping at his bride's fury, Bo forced the words out. "I… do."

Satisfied for the moment, Lou turned her hot gaze again to the hesitating pastor. "On with it quickly, preacher man, I have a niece to see born!"

"Right…" the man said, looking back to his book for confirmation. "Do you, Betty-Lou Johnson take th-this man to be your l-lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold, in sickness and in health till death do you part?"

Lou's response was quick and rushed. "I do." Finished with the vows, she grabbed Bo's hand with one of her own, gathering her fluffy skirts with the other. And with that, she flew down the steps and hurried back up the aisle, dragging a stumbling Bo along behind.

And as she ran from the church, she could hear the pastor calling out after them. "And I now pronounce you man and wife: Mr. and Mrs. Beaureguard Duke!"

-+-+-+-

Luke paced restlessly in the waiting room of the hospital, quietly cursing the fact that fathers weren't allowed in the delivery room. If not for that stupid rule, he could be at his new bride's side right now, helping to comfort her in the middle of this painful and probably frightening ordeal. He could be helping Jo…

"Luke, calm down," Uncle Jesse's voice broke into his worrisome thoughts. "She'll be fine, and there's not really anything you can do to help her anyway."

"Well then what's Lou doing in there helping?" Luke retorted angrily, turning to face the chairs in which Uncle Jesse, Daisy and Bo were sitting fairly calmly.

"She's Jo's sister, Luke," Daisy answered first, as if that statement should answer all questioning and calm all fears.

"And I'm her husband!" he protested.

"By little more than an hour, son," Uncle Jesse reminded him. "Now Lou's been there for Jo since the day they was born. That's about twenty-six and a half years longer than you've been around for your wife."

Reluctantly, Luke conceded that point. "Yeah, but—"

"No buts, boy," Uncle Jesse cut in. "Just stop yer pacing and sit down."

Grudgingly, Luke complied and dropped into a chair beside Bo, Daisy and Uncle Jesse. He would obey Uncle Jesse and wait. Really, there was nothing he could do about it.

Somehow though, he just felt like he should be there to see the birth of his little daughter and to help sooth his probably anxious new wife. She'd been in labor for over an hour now, and Luke was worrying about just how long he'd have to sit here like this, not really knowing anything.

If it was getting to him now, he was going to go crazy if it lasted much longer.

But chances were, it was going to.

His foot was tapping out some odd rhythm that Luke didn't hear, didn't notice and couldn't stop. His fingers kept their own rhythm separately from his feet, making a motley mix of tapping sounds.

Luke didn't notice, he was too busy thinking nervously about Jo…

"Stop that!" Bo insisted angrily. "You're getting annoying. No, you're done past getting there. You are annoying."

"Sorry, but I can't help that," Luke replied tightly. "My wife is in there, having a baby and I'm just sitting here. Do you know how that feels?"

Bo's jaw set. "No, but I probably will soon. In case you've forgotten, _my_… wife is nine months pregnant too."

"So you and Lou finished the vows?" Luke guessed from Bo's hesitant terminology. "Is that why you two were a little behind? I wasn't really paying attention."

"Oh, yes," Bo grumbled, rolling his eyes. "Crazy Lou wasn't taking any chances with those vows—none at all. For a couple of seconds, I hesitated and she just about wrung my neck. Literally." He rubbed at his neck underneath his loosened tie and collar.

Closing his eyes, Luke chuckled lightly at that.

You had to give Lou credit: she got what she wanted, even if she had to twist arms and wring necks to do it. Unlike Jo, she went and got what she wanted.

_Jo_, Luke thought, groaning inwardly. For a moment there, he'd been able to forget his anxiety and leave worries about Jo in the dust. But one thing led to another and here he was back at those same old qualms.

_Lord, just let this be over with quickly before I go insane!_

-+-+-+-

It had been four long hours of waiting around, sitting in not-quite-comfortable chair and now it was quiet frankly past dinner time for a very impatient, tired and annoyed Bo Duke. After all, it wasn't his wife in that room having a baby. Why should he have to wait around?

He'd wandered on down to the cafeteria, but there wasn't much worth eating down there. Since when was there _ever_ anything edible in _any _hospital? Still, he was nibbling on some hard, circular thing that looked like a biscuit—if you really used your imagination—as he strolled reluctantly back to his chair.

When he got back to the waiting room, he saw the stretch of chairs marked first by Uncle Jesse's tuxedo jacket, then Daisy's small bouquet and sheer scarf, Luke's black jacket and then Bo's own, but none of the other Dukes were in sight.

"Bo," came a gentle voice from off to one side.

He turned to see Lou, still in her wedding gown, standing at the opening to a branching hallway.

"Hey," he responded. "Where is everybody?"

She smiled, and Bo could see a bit of a tired glint in her eyes. "Visiting the latest member of the Duke family." She gestured for him to come to her. "C'mon, Uncle Bo, let's go meet and greet your and my new niece—who's also consequently your second cousin."

Frowning as he walked over, Bo thought about that. "That's weird. My niece is my cousin—seriously, that's weird."

Matching him step-for-step down the hall and guiding him towards the right room, Lou smiled again at Bo. "Oh, the weird-ness doesn't end there. While Yvonne is your cousin _and_ niece, she's _just_ my niece. And then there's the fact that you and Luke are now cousins and brother-in-laws."

"That's really confusing," Bo replied, trying in vain to grasp the concept. "How in the world did you get all of that?"

Rolling her gray eyes, Lou sort of snorted lightly. "I've had about four or so _hours_ to think about things like that, since the only other thing interesting to me was my screaming, cussing sister, and trying to calm her down."

"Oh, right."

Lou stopped outside a door, which Bo assumed was Jo's. "Speaking of which, I wouldn't be mentioning that to her. Especially not the fact she was cussing in the church. She'd never let herself live that one down."

Understanding, Bo nodded and followed Lou inside the room.

"Look who I found out there looking around for us," Lou announced to the others standing gathered in the room, who turned towards her.

Luke was cradling his daughter in his arms lovingly, obviously relieved. With a sweat-covered face, Jo—now in a hospital gown—was lying heavily on her bed with equally heavy silver eyes that were underscored by violet semi-circles. Daisy and Uncle Jesse stood off to the side.

"Hey, Bo, look at my beautiful little daughter," Luke said, showing off the bundle of blankets out of which a small, round, red face and two curled fists peeked. "Meet Yvonne Marie Duke."

Bo could see the pride in his cousin's face, and smiled at his baby niece. "Well, hey there, honey," he said down to her, tickling one of her balled fists with his fingertip. "You sure picked a fine day to show up, you know that?"

It was just then that an angry groan behind him startled Bo. Bewildered, he turned to see Lou clutching a hand across her own swollen stomach.

And annoyed dread gripped his heart.

"It seems your son's got an impeccable sense of timing himself," Lou grumbled. "Whether he got it from his cousin Yvonne or his lunatic daddy has yet to be decided." She fumbled out the door still holding on to her belly. "C'mon, let's find a nurse."

Uncle Jesse was already in the hall, getting one's attention. When a orderly did happen to notice the groaning pregnant woman, she hurriedly went for a wheelchair.

Following into the fairly busy hall after a moment, Bo smacked a palm to his forehead and groaned himself. Today was a crazy, eventful day but for him, it was about to be back to waiting in that same, _stiff_ chair…

_Oh, joy, my favorite thing in the world_, Bo thought to himself.

"Bo!" Lou's voice calling his name sounded rather harsh. And when he looked up to her face, it didn't really look all that calm or happy—or truly _sane_ for that matter. "Get your butt over here, man, you're coming along for the ride."

"Ma'am," the nurse said calmly, "fathers aren't allowed—"

"Doesn't matter," Lou interrupted through tightly gritted teeth. "He's coming."

"Lou…" he groaned in reply. "Don't—"

"Bo!" she shot back, grabbing him by the collar as she had hours earlier. "You're coming, end of story. And you're gonna learn pretty dang fast how to calm a pregnant woman in severe pain!"

-+-+-+-

Disbelieving, Luke watched Lou get ushered off to a room herself, towing Bo along behind. Not only did they get married on the same day, both newly created families were now welcoming babies into the world.

"Isn't that something?" he said aloud.

"It is," Daisy agreed from across the room. "Jo, have you two always been neck and neck like this? One does something, the other has to too?"

Half-melting the tired look on her face, Jo smiled brightly. "Well, more or less," she said, obviously remembering past examples. "But generally, it's Lou who gets to do most stuff first—even though I'm the older twin."

"Well, you got to get married first, and have your first child before Lou," Daisy pointed out. "Congratulations."

"Thank you," Jo replied politely. Cutting off any further reply she might have made, she yawned widely.

Daisy got the hint. "Well, I'll leave you to get some rest." And she left the two newlyweds alone with their daughter.

Luke still cradled his new daughter in his arms, an overwhelming sense of pride and joy welling up at the sight of the little baby. She was his, and she was Jo's, and that meant the world to Luke. This was his _daughter_, his firstborn daughter—and the feelings that brought were indescribable.

"I think she looks like you, Jo," he finally said, turning towards his weary wife. "Yes, Yvonne, you look like your mommy." He rocked his baby slightly then pointed out the similarities to Jo. "See? She's got eyes like you, and curly hair like yours too." He took one of the two chairs in the room—the only available one, since the other was currently seating Jo's simple wedding dress—and scooted it as close to Jo on the bed as possible.

"Well, honey, she coulda just as easily gotten those curls from you," Jo said, reaching out and twirling her fingers through his dark, messy hair. "It's not like yours is that much straighter than mine. And I think she looks more like you. She's got more of your face shape and such."

He shook his head. "She's got your good looks."

Raising a brow, Jo didn't wholly agree. "You're not ugly, half of Yvonne's good looks must've come from your side of the family."

That made Luke blush a little. "Regardless of who she looks like, she's beautiful and precious," he changed the subject, smiling first at his daughter, then at his wife. He hesitated before he said the other thing that was on his mind, but said it still, hoping to get a better reply than last time. "And I love you."

Unlike Luke, Jo didn't hesitate, instead responding immediately. "I love you, too, Luke."

That honestly took Luke by surprise. "Really?"

Smiling both meekly and truthfully, Jo smiled as she nodded her head. "Yeah, really."

Grinning at the suddenly warm feeling in his heart, Luke moved to kiss his wife—which he'd missed doing at the wedding. She met him halfway there with passion.

-+-+-+-

"Your labor was fairly easy, you know that?" Bo told Lou while she held their newborn son in her arms. "One hour. Jo's was four."

"Yes, well I wouldn't go saying anything about an easy labor if I were you," she grumbled in reply. "You weren't the one in all that pain for a whole hour."

"No, I was in a different kind of pain with you screaming in my ear and pinching my arm like crazy." He held up his bare forearms, showing off the long, reddish purple scratches and nail-marks Lou had inflicted. "That really hurt."

"Oh, hush, you big baby," Lou retorted, cradling their son and rocking slightly. "It was all for our baby, and he's most certainly worth it. Worth all the pain—mine and yours."

Moving closer and smiling down at the bundled up, red-faced baby, Bo agreed. "Yes, he was. You hear that, Xavier? You were worth it—something your mom and me finally agree on. And let me tell you, Xavier, that's something miraculous."

"Hey, don't say that!" Lou protested strongly.

"Don't say what?" If she meant to say their agreement wasn't miraculous, she was—

"Don't call your son Xavier," she said sternly.

Frowning, Bo really did look at Lou like she was crazy—not for the first time, most certainly—and he was about to tell her she was. "Why not?"

"Because that's not his name." To her credit, Lou had lasted this long with a very stern look on her face, but here her façade finally crumbled and she smiled lightly.

Both happy and wary of Lou's statement, Bo couldn't keep himself from smiling in return. "Well, what is it then?"

Lou's smile got bigger and wider till it could almost be classified as a grin and she looked up with a kind tint to her eyes Bo hadn't ever really seen directed at him. "Well, his name is Jesse John Duke. But from here on out referred to as Johnny. It'd be way too confusing to have to Jesse Dukes running around."

"I thought you weren't gonna ask for my opinion in the matter—"

"When did I?"

"—and that you weren't honoring Rock, Paper, Scissors as a name-decider. Seems pretty obvious to me that you did."

"No, I did not!" Lou protested strongly. "I didn't ask your opinion in the matter, I didn't honor your choice—I decided it would be a nice gesture to name him for Uncle Jesse. And besides, I told you to begin with that I might name the baby Johnny!"

"You told me you weren't gonna use that."

Lou's eyes burned with angry fire.

Knowing that no matter how she tried to deny it, he had her caught, Bo's smile became rather smug. "So you do have a soft spot for me after all."

"Do _not_!"

Still smiling and enjoying turning the irritation tables on Lou for once, Bo wrapped his arms around her in a light hug. "Oh, thanks, Lou. You're so sweet."

"Stop!" she protested, struggling. "And stop _squishing_ me, weirdo!"

-+-+-+-

Sighing at the fact that while it was only past eight thirty, it felt like midnight already, Daisy sank back into her chair in the waiting room, after having just visited a still arguing Bo and Lou—and Johnny, not Xavier, as it turned out. Today had been eventful, and she leaned her head on Uncle Jesse's shoulder where the old man sat in the next chair.

"Long day," she said.

"Yes, it was," Uncle Jesse agreed with a sigh. "Very, very long."

Smiling lightly, Daisy asked, "What do you think of all of this crazy stuff happening in one day?"

She could hear her uncle's light laugh and feel his body jiggle a little underneath her head. "I think that August 29th is going to become a huge holiday for us Dukes from now on. We'll be celebrating two birthdays and two anniversaries. What a crazy day."

**THE END** (of Book One, at least)

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**My gosh, that was a crazy day! ;) Now don't y'all forget to A: Review, B: Look out for the sequels! The first sequel should be up in not too long a time, but I do have a couple of other projects to work on first.**


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